How This Morbidly Obese Model Can Help You Have Better Sex

Once I found her Tumblr, all bets were off.

Updated 10 years ago, January 2, 2015

[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jAOC76pb0os&w=420&h=315%5D

Tess Munster is a 5’5” 250 pound super-confident sex symbol that makes a living off exploiting her physical appearance and controversial lifestyle choices. She spends her days posting half-naked pictures of herself wearing extravagant lingerie on social media websites.

Once I found her Tumblr, all bets were off. I became obsessed with analyzing her. I looked through her pictures with wonder and disgust. Her hair and makeup were always perfect and she looked confident, seductive, and powerful in every one of her photos. It got me thinking: How is it possible that she’s making obesity sexy?

I would catch myself thinking of Tess. I would think of her while I was trying to motivate myself to shave my legs or put on something besides an old pair of sweatpants. I couldn’t understand why at 5’9” and 148 pounds, I didn’t embrace the art form of wearing sexy, extravagant lingerie.

I thought about it and realized that it’s because I was placing unrealistic conditions on awarding myself the right to feel hot, sexy, and seductive. I would promise myself that I would start feeling sexy when I lost 10 or 15 pounds but when that never happened, I increasingly felt more negative about my body.

So, despite what Ms. Munster’s critics allege (that looking up to her will turn girls into obesity worshipers), I found the exact opposite. Allowing myself to gain sexspiration from Tess Munster’s pictures didn’t cause me to pack on pounds or drink glasses of melted cheese. It didn’t make me want to fire my personal trainer or become a professional cake eater and it didn’t make me want to stop eating healthy and move into a McDonalds. In fact, it did the exact opposite.

Tess Munster’s pictures convinced me to replace my old sports bras with new pretty lace bras. Tess Munster’s pictures inspired me to go get my hair done and pick out some new perfume. Tess Munster’s big, huge morbidly obese body made me want to put on some red lipstick, slip into something sexy and ask my boyfriend to come home early from work.

Thank you, Tess.