You lost the best thing you couldâve gotten in this life, and you have no one to blame but yourself. You broke her heart, not when you left, but when you were still there. You broke her heart a hundred times a day, the way you treated her. Every time you told her to shut up, every time you ignored her text, every time she saw a million girls names on your phone, her heart was shattering.
So when you left there werenât many tears left to cry. You destroyed her heart every day you had her, by the end it was almost a relief you were gone. She would have stayed by your side forever, no matter how bad you were for her. She never would have left you, despite how toxic you are, because her heart is too big and you were in it. She would have loved you until the end of time, if youâd let her.
But you didnât. You left. Youâll regret that.
Believe me when I say a soul like hers will come once in a lifetime. You may find other girls who will love you, who will fall for your bullshit and lies again, but you will never find her in another woman.
Youâll miss her. Youâll miss her one day when someone scrunches up their nose the way she did whenever you stared too long. Youâll miss her when youâre watching all the shows she hated, and suddenly remember her sleeping on your chest. Her red cheeks when she wakes up and realizes she drooled all over you because thatâs how tired she was. Youâll miss her when youâre cleaning around the house and you remember where all her things used to be. Youâll miss her shampoo in the shower, her makeup on the counter, her pile of clothes next to the bed when she went to sleep.
Youâll miss her when you pick a fight with your new love, and she fights back. Youâll miss the way she would call back after an argument to remind you she can be mad at you and still love you. I guess you never knew in some weird way she could hate you and still love you too, like she does now.
Youâll miss her when itâs been a hard day and sheâs not there offering a back rub. You both knew she sucked, but she was desperate to make your bad days better. Youâll miss her when youâre so damn tired, and realize sheâs not there to kiss goodnight.
Youâll miss her when you see a baby at the store, with mom and dad. Youâll remember all the plans she had for the future, to get married and own a white picket fence house. To have barbecues with all the kids running around playing with the dogs. You were supposed to be there, with a cheesy apron on, grilling the burgers and making jokes with all your other dad friends. Youâll remember thatâs what you wanted too, at one point. Youâll remember the hopes you gave her, to build a life with her, and took it away.
Youâll miss her insecurities, and how they made her try that much harder to love you. Youâll miss every day that she reminded you how loved you were. Youâll miss her reminding you all the good she saw in you, despite all the bad that was piling up.
Youâll miss her when you see her with another man, because trust me there will be another man. I promise itâll make your heart ache when you see him treating her the way you never would. It will kill you watching him get those little nose scrunches, him waking up to her ratted messy hair, him hearing her say âI love youâ a million times a day. What will make it worse, is watching him appreciate it, the way you never could.
You missed out on her. You left her when she promised to never let go. But he wonât. Heâs going to take the damage you caused and put her back together. Heâs going to love her so much she forgets how much she hated herself with you. Heâs going to give her back the same love and affection she gave you. The love and affection youâll never get again.
You wonât realize it now. Youâll read this and scoff at it and ignore it, and you wonât think about her again today. You might not think about her tomorrow, or even next week. But believe this, you will miss her one day, and she finally wonât miss you. 
