10 Signs That Someone Doesn’t Want To Sleep With You

  1. They tell you “I don’t want to sleep with you.” For many, this is the only thing they ever need to hear. The sheer embarrassment of the rejection keeps them at bay. But for others, well, you’d be surprised by some people’s tenacity.
  2. They talk to you about other people they want to sleep with, other people who aren’t you. They comment on a person’s good looks in front of you, failing to realize that it could make you feel bad. They’re usually not meaning to be insensitive. You just typically give less thought when it comes to someone you don’t want to sleep with. If they had a crush on you, they would choose their every word very carefully but since they don’t they drop verbal bombs freely.
  3. They don’t try to kiss you within the first month of meeting you. If you want to have sex with someone, it’s imperative that you make your intentions known ASAP. Otherwise, you risk becoming a friend forever. You can hear the tick tock of the clock in the beginning. Are we going to sleep together or are we going to be just friends? You have a handful of hangouts to answer this question. Don’t waste time.
  4. They complain about being single and/ or their lack of prospects. This could be a ploy to let you know that they’re ultra available. “I’m single. Why doesn’t anyone want me?” could theoretically translate to “My penis/ vagina is wide open for you. It’s calling you right now actually. Are you going to pick up or what?” But it usually just means, “I’m single. Please, Person I Am Not Attracted To And, Thus, Can Be Vulnerable With, tell me what I’m doing wrong!”
  5. They look at you with the same amount of indifference, whether you’re all dressed up at a party or doing the walk of the shame the morning after. In their eyes, your appearance never changes. It always stays the same, never garnering a strong reaction either way.
  6. They make you constantly feel like you have no genitalia, like you aren’t a sexual being. One dismissive glance or thoughtless comment chops your privates off and sends it to Mattel where Barbie and Ken dolls are made.
  7. They call you “buddy” or “kid.” These terms of endearment usually don’t translate to them screwing you on top of a washer/dryer. You don’t have sex with “kid.” You give “kid” a kiss on the forehead or a love pat on the back.
  8. Their body language says DO NOT WANT. That stuff is real, y’all! I take all of my cues from other people’s body language. If they aren’t grabbing my knee or putting their hand on my arm as they tell me a funny story, I know they aren’t down with what I have to offer.
  9. They tell you, “You’ve been such a good friend. I’d be lost without you.” One time a guy said that to me and I took it to mean “I want to be with you forever and get a dog and buy a house together in Los Feliz.” But no, he actually just meant that he really valued our friendship. WTF?
  10. They talk to you about their ex all the time. I mean, they could still want to sleep with you if they do this but, ew, not chic. TC Mark

Ryan O'Connell

I'm a brat.


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  • kat

    reading this list was like a kick in the pants at every single paragraph but I needed to see it in text. thanks ryan

  • Guest

    Ryan, you’re a great writer, but you write the same articles every week.

  • Jake

    Another list? How many articles are you going to write with the same exact format and extremely similar themes? I don’t think you’re tapping into your potential.

  • squirrel

    that’s my husband.


    This article could easily be renamed ‘How girls talk to me’ and still be perfect. GODDAMNIT.

  • http://amykitt.blogspot.com Amy Kitt

    “He must have a heart like iron, who loves a woman he is free to love. As for us, who are versed in the art, we must have our hopes and fears, and we must have a few rebuffs to give zest to our appetite.”

  • Alex

    I’m doing all of these to the people I actually want to sleep with

    • lo

      me too. i’m so pissed bc now they’re gonna read this and be like, oh, she doesn’t wanna and i will have to start from 0 alll over again. thaaanx ryry!!!

  • phatbizth22@hopelez.com lmao

    Hey Ryan,
    I just recently stopped playing all the stupid games with my Ex BF. It was one of those “finally I can pay better attention to the world around me” moments. It didn’t last. Facebook has brought along a mid-life-like crisis in my emotional mindset and physical stability. He keeps on posting pictures of him and his LUCKY? “new found love-in a hopeless place GF.” In one of those “Call Me Maybe” moments, I realized I need to fight back with something. I won’t let that stupid ho get in the way of my life.


    I was wondering if you’lld write about ways to make your ex-boyfriend jealous on facebook and with long-distance ( i live close, but obviously don’t see him) please.

    It would make my life a little better. <3

    With Love,
    Your Dearest Reader Lost in a Couple-Filled World

    • John

      If you’ve realized you need to fight back with something, don’t. You need to get over him with something genuine, not forced. Jealousy is a vicious cycle, avoid it. Delete his facebook, block him, delete your facebook. Don’t do things in spite of people or you will be miserable.

  • Domino

    HAHAHAHA “but, ew, not chic”.

  • VK

    YES. Except I agree with “buddy,” but disagree with “kid.” Have you ever seen Sex and the City???? Big and Carrie???? HELLO????????

  • http://www.facebook.com/brandonwhumphries Brandon Humphries

    “buddy” is a good reminder, I sometimes choose to ignore that one to my detriment.

  • Obakay

    She doez sum of diz 2 me bt i no 4 sure dat she’s tryin 2 get close 4 sex. Shez a nyc gal though.

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