Thought Catalog

Stop Feeling Sad (For No Reason)

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Stop feeling sad for no reason. Stop placing all of your happiness into whether or not your crush will text you back. Stop feeling a vague sense of melancholy, something that you aren’t able to pinpoint but you know is there.

I woke up today feeling that quiet sense of melancholy. The steps I took on the way to the bathroom felt heavy and when I looked at myself in the mirror, I could see myself cringing. This doesn’t happen very often, I don’t usually meet the day with a “Screw you!” kind of attitude but when I do, I get angry. How is it possible to feel so crappy at 8:30 in the morning? Actually wait, how is it possible to feel great at 8:30 in the morning? This is dumb though. These feelings aren’t real. I’m choosing to be in a sour mood. When there’s nothing there to make me feel sad, it’s quite clear that I’m the reason. I’m the one who’s making myself feel miserable. And since I’m the one who got me there, I can also be the one who gets me out.

For those of us who don’t have chemical imbalances but are rather just prone to feeling a boatload of emotions, we have to learn not to indulge every thought we have. It’s difficult though. With people who suffer from analysis paralysis and melancholia, it’s like we’re constantly betraying ourselves. We get upset over minute things and then get upset over the fact that we’re upset. We get sad that the amazing person we went on a date with last week hasn’t asked us to go on another one, and then we get angry at ourselves for giving the person so much power. We choose the things that control us. We give our phone a lot of power. We get bummed out about text messages and phone calls and, oh my god, it shows that they read my text but haven’t responded back! We give the internet a lot of power. When someone doesn’t follow us back on Twitter or write on our Facebook wall, we fall into a spiral of grief. Why?

We need to start figuring out what emotions are legitimate and which ones are bogus. If you’re feeling things every minute of every day, some posers are bound to sneak in through the back door of your brain. These posers are meant to veer you off track and get you upset for no reason, but they don’t come from a genuine place. They’re as fake as a Prada bag on Canal Street. We don’t like to admit it but sometimes we like falling into ruts for no reason. It reminds us that we’re alive and that SOMETHING is happening to us. Who cares if it’s good or bad?! I’m sad and it’s better than nothing!

Except it’s not better. In fact it’s a lot worse. All of those times you feel this vague sense of sadness, all of those times you let the posers in, add up to something major in the end. So we have to stop indulging every emotion we have. We have to realize we have control over these Monica “JUST ONE OF THEM DAYS” kinds of moods. Because they’re so not real. Seriously. Screw Monica for giving vague sadness some power! Not a month goes by that someone doesn’t post that video on their Facebook with the caption: “Sing it, Monica. Just one of them days…” Give yourself more credit than that. You know what I did this morning when I felt myself going into Monica territory? I stopped the “Just one of them days” bus and danced to some Rolling Stones. Now I’m all better. Don’t let your emotions punk you. Chances are you’re feeling something that’s not even there. TC mark

image – Sweet&Sadistic

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    • http://twitter.com/jessicapippin Jessica Pippin

      Relevant, and incredibly true. I’ve been thinking about this a lot lately. 

    • Guest

      Wow. 

      Thank You, Thank You, Thank You for this. 
      I needed to read this article after this past weekend. Perfect for Monday.

    • http://twitter.com/kaylamarissa kaylamarissa

      ugh, thank you for this! I needed to hear this from someone else.

    • Guest

      There is also the season, which is not a myth and not “holiday” season, but the SAD season. Happens to me starting November every year and I have to remind myself of that.  Although for me, there are other real reasons, but I’m talking about most people’s vague sense of sadness or anxiety.

    • http://twitter.com/tigger62077 Jennifer Wamsley

      Thank you for mentioning those with imbalances. I was all read to go on a tear based on the headline, but since you mentioned imbalances, it’s better.

    • http://www.facebook.com/igeller Irene Geller

      Best anti-sad post ever.

    • Deepal Diva92

      egg-jactly wat i needed…

    • http://twitter.com/KokoRoxie Coco Videla

      happy dance!!! that’s what i do :)

    • Sophia

      Oh, I am so guilty of this. It’s like I feel like I should be feeling something, like I need a reminder that I’m human, so I throw myself a pity party and make myself sad on purpose. Definitely not healthy behavior.

    • best guest

      You were inside my brain for this one. 

    • crystal

      i fucking love you and i love this article. ryan o’ conn, will you please be my friend? we can eat thai food everyday. :)

    • Anonymous

      Ryan, you may lack intelligence (no offence), but you sure don’t lack wisdom. Thank you for this. I was trying to analyze why I felt sad for no reason and as you said, started feeling sad for myself yada yada. Just, thanks :)

      • Sophia

        What gives you the idea that he lacks intelligence? *confused

      • Guest

        also…how can it possibly not be offensive to tell someone they MAY lack intelligence. think about the offensive things you preface with “no offense” before you say them, before you end up making someone sad for an actual reason.

    • Lkjsdfj

      You couldn’t have put this into words any better. I have been feeling this for months. I just wish that you could offer a better solution than trying to brush it off..

    • http://twitter.com/WordShag

      I love you.

    • http://twitter.com/aprilmayparker Angela Hu

      spot on. spot on. you dole out wisdom.

    • woop

      is there really no source to this sadness? is it just some pseudo emotion I’m feeling because I have to much time on my hands? 

      sadness sure feels real though…

    • Jake

      is monica a friends reference? i never watched friends

    • http://www.facebook.com/legosascontraband Dianne Smallwood

      great post, r – keep it real. -d.xoxo

    • Zara

      when i feel sad i don’t ever think it is for no reason, it is because I just think of all of the sadness in the world. Like how so many people live terrible lives and are suffering, whenever I start thinking this is a terrible world it always reminds me of what Woody Allen said in Annie Hall “I feel that life is divided into the horrible and the miserable…So you should be thankful that you’re miserable, because that’s very lucky, to be miserable.”

      • GUEST

        Then you obviously aren’t suffering from the same thing that a lot of people on this page are suffering from.

    • Guest

      Loved it. This is exact how I feel and I needed to hear this from someone!!! Thanks!

    • Fuzzball

      Thanks :) Good help :)

    • boherubi

      This morning around 6am as I was pulling an all nighter for absolutely no reason, or maybe because of my fear of sleep I decided to listen to The Strokes while feeling a heavy burden of depression coming down on me  after I remembered that, that’s what I told myself on a day somewhere in the past, that that is what The Strokes are for. I danced, as I laid on my air mattress with my things all around and my life a mess. Its 10:22 am and I am still listening to The Strokes. Cant hear myself as my headphones are out of this world! But those emotions are real.

    • Joao

      Great article!  But maybe it’ treats it a bit too simply.   I agree we need to take control.  But control may not mean snuff out the down mood.   Maybe a down mood can be attached to a fact that would justify it and motivate something good.  I.e. help you remember  a sick old woman who couls ues a visit or those who need food assistance so you go volunteer at a feeding service or you participate in a clean-up day if you attach your blue mood to what we’re doing to the earth….and on and on.   You can do as this (very good) post suggests….and snuff out the blues.  But you might also just try to steer the negative energy someplace helpful.   Someplace that connects you to someone and/or something good.    The “for no reason) part of the title entails great wisdom.   Just sayin that just sometimes, we could find a reason, and might not regret the blue mood at all .  

    • http://www.clothedmuch.com Elaine

      This..

    • http://pastelchild.wordpress.com/2013/04/29/492/ sight of a tear
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