What Life Must Be Like For A Pretty Girl

All the pretty girls played in their rooms with their dolls, studying their newborn faces in the mirror. They knew even then that life was going to be a bit easier for them.

All the pretty girls went to the same sleepovers and told the same secrets and wore the same make up. They talked about the cute boys in their grade, the boys they knew could be theirs if they wanted them. They were starting to understand what having a beautiful face meant and they were starting to use it in the way society taught them.

All the pretty girls befriended each other and formed a small army of porcelain skin and gold ringlets of hair and good genetics. It was understood that they would be friends because their pretty faces meant they were all going to have the same kind of life. They set themselves apart from the not-so-pretty girls by developing early and spraying perfumes and showing prepubescent skin. A hardness began to develop on the inside to contrast their soft features and that’s when the pretty girls started to become ugly.

All the pretty girls started to kiss boys who would never care about them in their childhood bedroom after school. They fed off the boys’ excitement at seeing naked flesh and learned how to manipulate them. Through kissing and touch, they began to recognize their power and use it whenever someone wanted to unbutton their jeans or get them a gift for Christmas. “My face deserves a purse. My ass deserves designer jeans. You don’t deserve anything”

All the pretty girls realized how hard it would be when they developed breasts and womanly curves. They would have to decide what kind of pretty girl they wanted to be. Did they want to be a mean girl and marry someone rich or did they want to model in Japan? Or did they want to move away from the pretty face and get a good job, only using their looks when they wanted a fancy drink at a bar? So many decisions for a pretty girl to make.

All the pretty girls lost their virginities to pretty boys. They thought about what their children would look like and maybe they even imagined a wedding full of pretty people and rice and tears. They loved these boys but maybe they were also mean to them. Or maybe the boys were the ones who were mean and pushed them down with their kisses. Either way, they laid the foundation of what was to come.

All the pretty girls made excuses. They were late to class because they were beautiful; they snuck out of the house because their hair looked really good that day. Who the hell are you to judge a pretty girl anyway? Take a look around you and see how much our world cherishes external beauty. Now ask yourself something: Are you surprised?

All the pretty girls start out the same but slowly change over time. When everyone is old and gray, they’ll have the faded polaroids of their youth to keep them company. Some will die sad, some will die happy. They’ll all die pretty. TC mark

Ryan O'Connell

I'm a brat.

Trace the scars life has left you. It will remind you that at one point, you fought for something. You believed.

“You are the only person who gets to decide if you are happy or not—do not put your happiness into the hands of other people. Do not make it contingent on their acceptance of you or their feelings for you. At the end of the day, it doesn’t matter if someone dislikes you or if someone doesn’t want to be with you. All that matters is that you are happy with the person you are becoming. All that matters is that you like yourself, that you are proud of what you are putting out into the world. You are in charge of your joy, of your worth. You get to be your own validation. Please don’t ever forget that.” — Bianca Sparacino

Excerpted from The Strength In Our Scars by Bianca Sparacino.

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  • http://twitter.com/kelvin_lee Kelvin Lee

    Please write “What Life Must Be Like for a Pretty Boy”.

    • xra

       it’s not as easy, i mean you still have to _do_ stuff even if you have an adonis face trust me

      • http://twitter.com/NukeSpoon Crispy Frontboat

        no you’re wrong because i’m not pretty

    • http://www.facebook.com/grc15r Gregory Costa

      I feel like I’m more capable of relating to feeling like a pretty girl…at least I understand half of it. 

    • CarmenOhio

      Life as a pretty boy was flat-out confusing.  Yes, you receive plenty of attention from the girls, but they too had ulterior motives, just like guys have ulterior motives for pretty women (note: these motives can apply to any woman, “pretty” or not).  Girls would sleep with me and my friends, seemingly just based on our looks.  That was fine.  “Great deal”, we thought.  That was until we realized that these girls were either sleeping with us because they thought we were physical equals or because they wanted to lock us down.  What we thought was a night of fun (because we were told it was) led to us not calling the girls back unless it was for sex – the very thing they claimed our connection was based on.  Then all we would hear is that we were players or heartless.  Then we became confused and grew up to drink beer and leave those faux-shallow girls, who really wanted more, alone.  Lesson to take away:  If you  play games, are insincere, or flat out lie, you will find blame another for your own mistakes.  Not a great response, I know, but life as a pretty boy is not nearly as glamorous as the life of a rich boy, I would guess.

  • TO

    Waiting for the (somewhat justifiable) backlash…

    • http://www.facebook.com/TomSmizzle Tom Smith

      This is one of those articles where the future comment thread is more exciting than the article itself.

      • TO

        yes

      • Anonymous

        Nope, the pretty girls are out somewhere. Not in front of their computers, replying to an article written by Ryan O’Connell.

        Ryan, I think I understand…

  • ratatat

    no. just no.

  • adc

    what the fuck?

  • http://www.thedailyawe.com Captain Obvious

    what about lesbians who are ‘pretty girls’ but like other pretty girls? This article is not your best. 

    • Lesbian

      Thank you! You know, some of us lesbians happen to be pretty girls.

  • http://twitter.com/icameasgold Tanya Donascimento

    haha i used to think about this a lot when i was little

    now not so much, i use my charm and wit to get what i want, so it works out either way
    unless you’re really fat and ugly

  • grrrlpwr4lyf

    I mean I get this but to generalize a whole group of people is pretty silly. Yes, being pretty has it’s advantageous opportunities, but not every pretty girl decided to take them and are not even always offered them.
    Also, I imagine being pretty in our modern society much be a terrible burden too. Being the lifelike embodiment of what men are told to want has to make life a bitch and a half. Look at all the pretty girl politicians. (not that I agree with most of their ideals/ideas) They are never ever painted in a serious light, and therefor never taken seriously, only being asked about their possible boobs jobs and whatnot.
    Being any girl at all is to be born loaded to the brim with bullshit stereotypes. Whether you’re the pretty, ugly,  fat, slutty, or crazy girl. None of it is fair.
    We don’t deserve to be allotted roles, we deserve to be people.

  • Bee

    can everyone shut the fuck up and love thought catalog again

    • http://twitter.com/NukeSpoon Crispy Frontboat

      i don’t get it

      i used to like thought catalog loads

      but i can’t remember how it changed in anyway

  • Kimx2030

    well, bravo for not writing an article involving drugs/being gay/being drunk/sex etc etc

    • bx202

      but instead for writing an article about something he knows nothing about?  this guy just lost a fan..

  • tired

     Its not really fun to have people tell you how hot you are all the time.  It gets annoying.

    • Anonymous

      Really????!!! You’ve got to be kidding me, Girl.

    • smellslikecatshitrightnow

      GOOD FOR YOU!!!

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=612928768 Samie Rose

    This was dumb.

  • Chelseatoday

    yeah, this isn’t at all something to be proud of. from what I can gather, you probably don’t take criticism well — or at all — but i’ll try anyway: you should definitely reevaluate the thought process and conceptions that produced this poor excuse of an article. pretty girls can be beautiful women of heart and mind (thank you, joni) and not just inutile fair faces.

  • ASURADAI123

    The girl in the picture looks extremely anorexic and pale…which isn’t so pretty.

  • ATL

    Random Guy:  You must get asked out all the time.  You can get any guy you want.  I bet they are lining up outside your door.

    Me:  Nope. Not at all.  I get asked out like once a year.

    Random Guy:  Really?  That can’t be true!  No way!  Well, it’s just because guys are intimidated by you.  I mean, 90% of guys are afraid to approach a girl anyways so that’s why.

    Me:  So I hear…

    Now I’m not complaining.  There are a lot of weirdos out there.  Things just aren’t always black and white.

  • ugly girl.

    FACTS.

  • indi

    sweeping generalizations FTW

  • Lubna

    i totally agree with this, Ryan you’re incredible!

    • Anonymous

      ADD is bleeding into the internet sphere, as you can see.

  • poops

    Blah blah blah more writing about how pretty girls get what they want. Boring.

  • Anonymous

    This article is annoying on several levels. In these times, this article is not an accurate reflection of reality. Being pretty does indeed generally give you a leg up, however, it’s a leg up that a pretty girl can use to either destroy themselves, let other people destroy them, or use to *empower* themselves with.  If you are pretty, you know that it is almost a necessity that you are also hyper-intellectual…because the reality is that most people (men and women) just *assume* that because you have a nice face, you *must* be retarded. Don’t get me wrong, I thoroughly enjoy the benefits of being pretty. With that said, it’s incredibly annoying to be face-judged by folks with a pre-set ideology that tells them there MUST be something wrong with me. I’ve become * more* of a bitch over the years to deflect the bullshit projections I get from people. Women are almost worse than men. I’ve never got a job when interviewed by a woman. I have an excellent resume and degree and I’ve held some great jobs, but to these women, my looks mattered considerably more than my skill set. Most likely, these women are threatened by the “pretty face,” because if that “face” gets hired (no matter HOW SMART SHE IS…), it could possibly jeopardize their job (because we all know that most *upper* managerial position are held by men). Men can be persuaded by a pretty face. The only difference is that some *intelligent* men (and also women…) can be open-minded enough, to look beyond the face and hear what’s coming out of your mouth.  Just a parting thought: There still exists a glass ceiling for women in our country, whether you want to acknowledge that or not. Therefore, in my opinion, if you are a woman who’s got the brains and the face, use it to your advantage: surprise people by threatening their ideology of beauty (get educated!), be a power-bitch and get yourself to the highest position you can, so that you can look down with a “fuck-you face” on those that judged you solely on your looks. Give them the face that says, “Wow, the judgment and categorical discrimination I receive on a daily basis is NOT that different than what Rosa Parks received.” If you are pretty, fight for your right to be taken seriously; when you reach pinnacle, you will realize that the biggest “fuck you” you that you can give to ignorance and ignorant people is to take yourself seriously, and understand your worth, *independent* of your beauty.

    • Anonymous

      Several obvious typos. Argh! There goes my writing career.

      • Dontmind

        Not on Thought Catalog…

    • Anonymous

      Oh, but I did realize…this article totally tells the story of a little girl that almost became V.P. of the U.S., a pretty girl named Sarah Palin. I’d pay $10.00 to get her response on this article. Seriously.

    • Derpina

      While I agree with some of your responses, I would say that you’re trying to fight an article of generalizations with more generalizations. “I have an excellent resume and degree and I’ve held some great jobs, but to these women, my looks mattered considerably more than my skill set. Most likely, these women are threatened by the “pretty face,” because if that “face” gets hired (no matter HOW SMART SHE IS…), it could possibly jeopardize their job (because we all know that most *upper* managerial position are held by men). ” This is irritating as fuck and just validates his point in the article. This shows an intense sense of entitlement/self-victimization (“STUPID UGLY WOMAN IS JUST JEALOUS OF HOW PRETTY I AM AND WILL NOT GIVE ME A CHANGE!! RRRGGG!!!!!”) Is that what you tack all your failures up to? The jealousy of others? If so, you’re everything as Mr. O’Connell said you were. Perhaps these “ugly women” you were interviewing saw in you this quality of entitlement, vanity and self-obsession you’ve shown in your comment? Perhaps that’s why they did not hire you? But anyway, there’s really no point in arguing this because your premise itself is entirely bogus. There are plenty of studies (I’ll collect some if you like) that point to a positive correlation between perceived physical attractiveness and perceived intelligence, likability,  and trustworthiness. Seriously, though. Get over yourself. Stop carrying your good fortune like it’s a burden. It’s unbecoming.

    • thanks

      That seems a little over-dramatic. And thanks for re-inforcing this whole “all pretty girls must be bitches” metality.

    • diana

      i was with you until the rosa parks comparison. come on.

  • breakfast

    This seems like total bullshit

  • Lu

    There is too much wrong with this article to even try to get into. Maybe if it was written by a ”pretty girl” who was reflexively considering the gap between how other people imagine her life and how it really is, then it would work… but it wasn’t. 

    Life as a ”pretty girl” can mean going to the doctor about a mental disorder and being told that it’s not so bad, because ”you have lots going for you, like your beauty.” Life as a ”pretty girl” can mean being molested by your new boss, on your first day, and having to walk out on a job you are more than qualified for, because you learn you got the job for an entirely different reason. If life ”for a pretty girl” COULD be generalized, it would not be with the picture painted in the childish words above. 

  • Guest

    I find this highly offensive. I’ve been called a “pretty girl” (and beautiful, and sexy), and as such have been tormented by my peers growing up, no other girls wanted to be my friend, and every male “friend” I’ve had wanted me, to the point where one raped me and another tried to. I am used by guys I thought cared about me for fooling around or sex, and then ignored, only to find out from other friends that aforementioned guy shows off that he slept with me. So what I’m trying to say is, fuck you; and thanks for the generalizations.

    • ASURADAI123

      I’m really sorry to hear that you had to go through all of that but I hope you’ve learned to have better judgment when it comes to men and making female friends. Its hard when you want to think that everyone has a pure intention but in reality most people don’t.

      • Amber

        Yes, you’re totally right. It’s the rape victim’s fault. She shouldn’t have been friends with that guy in the first place, she shouldn’t have been friends with guys at all in the first place, HELL, it’s probably her fault that she’s pretty in the first place, too. I mean, who does she think she is, believing she can just trust people and make real friends like any other normal person?

      • stop victim bashing

        YES YES a thousand times yes.

      • Zurich

        Asuradai123 wasn’t attacking you as a victim or saying it was your fault, at all. They were suggesting/hoping that you could take that traumatic, awful experience and learn to use it to strengthen yourself for your future. The advice would have been the same if you were a pretty girl or a not-so-pretty girl.

      • ASURADAI123

        Zurich-That’s exactly what I meant.

    • guest

      i can relate to this more than i’d ever like to.

  • A.

  • Guest

    Fuck you.

    I’ve been told that I’m pretty, but I’m not even that good-looking. Older woman are rude to me. Always. Strangers assume I’m dumb. Always. I scored a 2280 on the SAT. I don’t wear nice clothes or wear make-up to get taken somewhat seriously in class. My mom hits me.  

    Don’t write about things you don’t know.

  • Lib3ll3

    I was hesitant to respond to this article, because the whole thing seems to be a “first world problem” sort of issue, but here I go:

    I, like other pretty girls, played with Barbies and studied my body in the mirror. Why couldn’t my eye brows be a little denser or my freckles a little less obtrusive?I went to sleepovers with other pretty girls and told the same secrets about eating half a cookie that day and totally being too fat to wear a bikini in the Keys. We talked about the guys who hit on us, the boys think they could be theirs if they wanted them. We were starting to understand what having a beautiful face meant and how it meant never escaping from sexual objectification.All the pretty girls were frenemies to each other and destroyed our ability to bond with other girls. It was understood that we wouldn’t be friends because their pretty faces were prettier than mine. We set ourselves apart from all girls by developing early and spraying perfumes and showing prepubescent skin. A hardness began to develop on the inside to contrast our soft features and that’s when the pretty girls started to become lonely.All the other girls thought pretty girls kissed boys and so the pretty girls became the “sluts”. We detested the boys’ excitement at seeing flesh and learned how dangerous it was to jog in shorts alone. Through wearing makeup and fashionable clothes like all the other girls, they began to recognize their inability to go a whole day without being hit on and bothered. They stopped smiling at strangers–it seemed to invite the scrubs.  They started wearing fake engagement rings to keep the creeps at bay.We realized how much easier would be when we developed wrinkles and womanly curves. We would have to decide what kind of pretty girl we wanted to be. Did we want to be a soul-less girl and marry someone rich or did we want to skip college and be a pretty barista? Or did we want to move away from the pretty face and get a good job, only using our looks when we wanted a fancy drink at a bar? So many decisions for a pretty girl to make with the weight of their family always telling them how pretty they are hanging on their shoulders.All the pretty girls lost their virginities to regular boys. We thought about what their children would look like and maybe they even imagined eloping. We loved these boys but maybe we were also mean to them. Or maybe the boys were the ones who were mean and pushed us down with their kisses. Either way, the pretty girls couldn’t trust men anymore.All the pretty girls made excuses. We were late to class because we were too embarrassed to show up without mascara on; we snuck out of the house because our hair looked really crappy that day. Who the hell are you to judge a pretty girl anyway? Take a look around you and see how much our world cherishes external beauty. Now ask yourself something: Are you surprised?Are you surprised pretty girls can’t trust men?  Are you surprised they’re confused about when to use their looks and when not to?  Are you surprised they aren’t as happy as everyone else? Are you surprised?

    • http://twitter.com/mung_beans Mung Beans

      ‘aren’t as happy as everyone else’

      no one else is happy, either; cheer up

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