A Letter To Your Crush

Hi Crush,

Thank you so much for existing. I was getting pretty jaded there for a second and then you came along to cast a big shining light on my life. I don’t even care if we actually hook up (well, sort of). I’m just happy that you’re there.

I don’t know you that well, which is kind of great because it allows me to run wild with my imagination. Maybe you’re the kind of person who likes to nibble on earlobes or cut the crust off their sandwiches or maybe you’re actually a raging jerk who’s selfish in bed. I really have no idea. I like not knowing. It lets me create a pretty picture of you and I having picnics, kissing under streetlights, getting tangled in bed on a Sunday afternoon, getting stoned and listening to records when it’s raining, and going grocery shopping for juice and sundried tomato spread. All of these things are possible in my head. You could be this person.

Crushes are a wonderful thing. Everyone responds to them in the same way with this childlike sense of excitement and wonder. You can be 65 and still feel a smile develop when you’re listening to “I Wanna Hold Your Hand” because you get it and it gets you.

You represent possibility, a possibility of change and romance, of giving me something I’ve been craving for so long. And you don’t even know it! You’re just sitting there being cute and crushworthy, not even aware of the joy you’ve been giving me. If you knew, maybe you would be really creeped out or maybe you’d realize you felt the same way about me. I won’t know until I actually do something about it.

Therein lies the dilemma of having a crush. Do you actually want to act on it? Do you want to give them your phone number and resign yourself to feeling miserable until they finally text you? Sometimes it’s fun to just have the crush. The PG fantasy. Sometimes I don’t actually need to see you naked IRL. I just need you to be there and be whoever I want you to be in my mind. It’s not always about actually seeing if you can get into a relationship with your crush. Sometimes they’re just there to make everything easier for you and become the highlight of your day. They’re there to make you feel younger and happier and silly. They add brighter colors to an otherwise drab period of your life.

So I don’t think I’m going to do anything about it. I think I’m just going to let it be. I’m going to keep you as my dream person and not have reality ruin anything. Don’t think of this as a sad thing. You’ll be the crush who will never be able to crush me. TC mark

Ryan O'Connell

I'm a brat.

Trace the scars life has left you. It will remind you that at one point, you fought for something. You believed.

“You are the only person who gets to decide if you are happy or not—do not put your happiness into the hands of other people. Do not make it contingent on their acceptance of you or their feelings for you. At the end of the day, it doesn’t matter if someone dislikes you or if someone doesn’t want to be with you. All that matters is that you are happy with the person you are becoming. All that matters is that you like yourself, that you are proud of what you are putting out into the world. You are in charge of your joy, of your worth. You get to be your own validation. Please don’t ever forget that.” — Bianca Sparacino

Excerpted from The Strength In Our Scars by Bianca Sparacino.

Read Here
  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=707272007 Alex Thayer

    crushes are the second best, next to drunk smoking.

    drunk smoking is the best.

    • Nico

      I think I’ve just developed a crush on you.

  • Joy Jalapolis

    Bloody brilliant, Ryan!

  • http://twitter.com/alinatrifan Alina Trifan

    This is just the beginning of the whole crushing process.
    I hate hate hate crushing on someone, it gets old after a while and you just keep being miserable, not excited.
    A letter to my crush: get out of my head.

    • truth

      I completely agree. Love crushing in the early stages that just involves fantasies. Once you start intense internet lurking and obsessively thinking about them, you know you’re deep trouble. 

      • http://twitter.com/alinatrifan Alina Trifan

        Oh, yes. I’m going to stalk him until he loves me.

      • dea

        And then I’ll realize I don’t want him anymore, because the fantasy was better than the reality. Or is that just me?

      • Ika

        I am a guy and I have that about girls all the freakin’ time, they never ever meet my expectations and stupid me has yet not learned to lower my expectations

  • Danielle G

    did anyone else read the title and think it was going to be A letter to your crush … as in to the crush of another person? I was so excited to read that. haha 

  • Vicky Shazam

    but i do wanna give him my number and stuff irl -_-
    this wasn’t as encouraging as i thought it was going to be
    but i still love you

  • Anonymous

    I just wrote a poem for a creative writing class and one aspect of it is one of my friends that I happen to have a crush on (yes, really, it blows mostly (the poem and the situation)) and I wrote “I’m glad you exist.” So that opener resonated with me, Ryan.

  • http://www.twitter.com/mexifrida Frida

    “Do you want to give them your phone number and resign yourself to feeling miserable until they finally text you? Sometimes it’s fun to just have the crush.”
    I wonder about this.
    Lately I’ve been “getting over my fears” and just talking to my crushes. Sometimes it doesn’t work out, but I feel like I stopped wasting my time pining over them.
    I remember the crushes when I was younger and didn’t do anything though and those were more fun. There was always that excitement, but at the same time knowing nothing would happen.

  • BLEH

    This is true. I just wish you became consistent as to whom you’re addressing it. At some point in your letter, it seems you are not talking to your crush anymore but the readers. :D

  • http://talkwithstrangers.blogspot.com/ Christina

    Yeah crushes are better left as crushes. When you get to really know them already, it gets kind of boring. There’s always excitement in not knowing — and just making up stuff in your mind to fill in the gaps!

    Uh, does anybody feel that the letter ends after the 2nd paragraph?

    • twilightsparkle

      not really, the letter seems to continue at the 4th and last ones. the others seem like commentaries though.

  • delizo

    especially “You’ll be the crush who will never be able to crush me”

  • http://twitter.com/JustGeeee Geleen Faye Gallego

    Works the same for me…..

  • Vicky

    Love this piece. These feelings and thoughts have been in and out of my life for years. Thank you for telling me that it is okay to just crush and do nothing but enjoy the crush!

  • Homesick


  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1010673629 Crystal Susiana

    This is… so me.

  • Gritgor Kang

    This letter is so touching!!!

  • Thought Catalog

    Reblogged this on liilahinwunnderland.

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