6 Things You Can Do While Waiting For Someone To Text You Back

1. Talk to someone about how much you hate waiting for a text message

Nothing pains me more than waiting for a VIP text message. Whether it’s a text from your ex, someone you’re planning on having sex with later, or your drug dealer telling you to go to some seedy location, you’ll be kept on pins and needles until your phone vibrates and makes that luscious beautiful sound that indicates that you have a new message. To distract myself during the lull between messages, I’ll often try to get into a conversation with someone. It never works though because I’m just continually checking my phone throughout the discussion and being an absent-minded jerk. This can be especially insulting if your friend is actually broaching a serious talk. “Oh my god, you feel depressed and suicidal? Cool….wait! I’m going to DIE because he just texted me back and said, “Okay!”” Can you believe it? Sweet jesus!” I suggest that you just cut the crap and only talk about how much it sucks to wait for a text. It may seem small but trust me, this talk can last for hours. People have a lot of experience and anecdotes to share.

2. Stay away from alcohol

It might seem like a swell idea to pour yourself a glass of wine while you wait for a text but, um, it’s not. One glass can quickly turn into six and then before you know it you’re sending a slew of texts to your flaky sender that go something like, “hellooooo where r u hi im here waiting 4 u.” FIVE MINUTES LATER. “you know what’s really fun? when you don’t text me back. it’s the funnest thing you could ever do to me so thanks for giving me this gift of fun.” TEN MINUTES LATER. “i just don’t understand you. why are you doing to me? do you know how this feels? how hard it is to send a text? it takes 30 seconds. i just timed it. i literally just set a timer.” 20 MINUTES LATER. “i’m assuming you’re trapped underground or dead at this point. there’s no way you could actually be seeing these texts and ignoring them lol. hello?”

3. Take a long shower

Taking a long shower can be a great way to pass the time while waiting for a text. You can wash your hair for twenty minutes, sing along to your iPod, touch yourself, and blare out the sound of the outside world AKA your phone. Be warned though. If you don’t have a new text message waiting for you when you get out, you could experience crushing disappointment and losing your mind while wearing a towel is never cute.

4. Take Xanax

I mean, duh. That’s what it’s there for. It even says so on the bottle: “Reduces anxiety caused by everyday technology.”

5. Take a very long subway ride

Since you don’t get reception underground, taking the subway to a far away place like Coney Island could be just the thing you need to avoid someone not texting you back. Just like taking a shower, however, your sojourn to the boonies could make you feel doubly let down if you don’t have a message waiting for you above ground.

6. Binge eat

Pretend an Oreo is a text message and just eat 60 of them. Every time you eat one, imagine it to be the most glorious text message response ever. Oreo # 1: “U R Beautiful and I would like to have sex with you!” Oreo # 2: “Would you like to come to this amazing party with me tonight? The Olsen Twins will be there!” TC mark

image – clurr

Ryan O'Connell

I'm a brat.


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  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=612928768 Samie Rose

    I didn’t look at who wrote this and halfway through I was like, “Yup, totally Ryan.” I am unsure as to whether or not this is an awesome thing or an awful thing.

    • chilango_bi

      i do this all the time, first time i read something of his i was like “wtf this dude is gay?” not a homophobe just didn’t see it coming for some reason (i blame my catholic upbringing). ryan is my absolute favorite though

      • http://www.twitter.com/mexifrida Frida

        I find myself thinking of Ryan’s articles when I see gay men now, kinda wishing I was friends with them.

      • http://twitter.com/gayworldproblem Gay World Problems

        There’s always hope. I strangely relate to pretty much everything Ryan writes, minus the drug intake.

      • http://www.twitter.com/mexifrida Frida

        I’ll keep the hope.

  • sarah

    #7: Write a list of things to do while waiting for a text message! :)

  • Sarah

    Getting out of a long shower after you’ve been waiting for a message, only to find nothing brings on a strangely deep and soul-crushing sense of disappointment.

    I’m glad it’s not just me.

  • Sarah

    Getting out of a long shower after you’ve been waiting for a message, only to find nothing brings on a strangely deep and soul-crushing sense of disappointment.

    I’m glad it’s not just me.

  • A.

    we get it ryan, you do drugs. now stop injecting that into every article

    • Asdf

      and vein.

      Just wanted to finish that sentence for you.

      • Sarah

        and vain.

        just wanted to fix that homonym mistake for you.

      • Asdf

        and shame.

        Just wanted to clarify how you might be feeling.

      • Sarah

        1. Having or showing an excessively high opinion of one’s appearance, abilities, or worth.veinNoun/vān/1.
        Any of the tubes forming part of the blood circulation system of the
        body, carrying mainly oxygen-depleted blood toward the heart.

        say what, now?

      • Asdf

        *double facepalm*

      • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=612928768 Samie Rose

        ASDF: 1
        Sarah: 0


      • douchegirl

        This was the best nerd catfight I’ve ever seen. 

      • Asdf

        I’ll spell it out for you.

        “we get it ryan, you do drugs. now stop injecting that into every article (and vein.)”

      • Guestropod

        you are going to feel so ashamed when you see all these messages

    • berna fett

      Not everyone is an avid reader of Thought Catalog, so it makes sense to reinstate previous statements pointed out in past articles. Effective journalism is inclusive. Articles should be easily accessible for the vast majority, or at least a target audience.

      I’m not taking sides. I mean that objectively, of course.

      • http://twitter.com/kyleangeletti Kyle Angeletti

        This is not even close to journalism. 

      • berna fett


  • Asdf

    I cry while waiting for an important text message.

    • Asdf

      I also cry at the apparent fact that this list started out as 5 items, and then was expanded to be 6 after faux publication. The URL NEVER LIES!

  • scin

    #3 for all time. down to the ipod while showering, did not know other people did that. lovelove.

  • Brogan

    Ryan, you are by far my favorite Thought Cataloger. I loved this article.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1363230138 Michael Koh


  • mashka

    Haha unfortunately all of this is exactly how I feel. I also do this stupid thing where I put my phone on silent, and turn it over (iPhone) so that I am not constantly checking it, and I’ll wait like 15-20 minutes and then check it to see if anyone texted.

    Sometimes I also randomly text people just to say hi so that I’ll at least not feel lonely while I’m waiting for the “VIP” text to come in.

    What else…. usually I find that once I start obsessively complaining about how so and so hasn’t texted me back to one of my other friends, I’ll get that VIP text all of a sudden. Foolproof? So far.

    Even though sometimes I take awhile to text people back because I’m y’know, busy…. it’s IMPOSSIBLE for me to fathom that whoever I want to text me back could actually be busy and not deliberately ignoring me or dead.

    f u technology- #1 cause of anxiety.

  • A.

    anything encouraging me to eat 60 oreos is fine with me

  • Dd

    “Pretend an Oreo is a text message and just eat 60 of them.” <- lol

    I'm only writing on this because I'm waiting for a text…

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