5 Telltale Signs That Your Relationship Sucks

1. It gives you permanent anxiety

If there’s one thing that I’ve learned in the last year, it’s that life is really really stressful. It never lets up. The shit keeps getting piled on and all you want to do is go back to being a five-year-old eating bugs who has nothing to do. But that’s never going to happen so you just have to deal. A relationship in your twenties and beyond should be way more relaxed than any relationship you had in high school and college. Why? Because you don’t have time to be in a relationship that feels like a job. You’ve matured and moved on from the “Beb. Where R U beb? Who r u texting?” games of yesteryear. Back then, you had time to have an insane relationship because you were probably insane yourself and/or really bored. “I HAVE NOTHING TO DO TODAY. MAYBE I SHOULD START SOME SHIT WITH MY BF?” Ah, those were the days! If you still find yourself running into the same problems you were dealing with at sixteen, chances are you need to do some serious reevaluating. Your significant other is supposed to chill you out from the daily crap you have to deal with, not add to it.

2. They are always jealous

Some people are under the assumption that if their BF/GF is jealous, it just means they really care about them. No. What it actually means is that your special person has some serious insecurity issues. It actually doesn’t even have much to do with you. Jealousy is going to be recurring theme in all of their relationships so don’t just think it’s because they love you the most. Jealous partners should be forced to listen to “Why you so obsessed with me?” by Mariah Carey on a constant loop and then get into some therapy.

3. It’s a bipolar rollercoaster

I was crazy with the first dude I ever dated. Like actually insane. Things would either always be so good or so so bad. My Livejournal entries attest to this fact because they would usually go like this:

Date: August 1, 2005

My heart is broken. He doesn’t give a shit about me. I guess we’re done for good.

Date August 2, 2005

Things are fixed. We spent all day together and I just…I really love him…..

So I know there’s a song called “Rollercoaster of Love” but to me, love is less of a Magic Mountain thrill ride and more of a sweet happy (and occasionally exciting/terrifying) ride at Disneyland. A relationship should by no means feel like a nap and an early bird dinner at Mimi’s Cafe. But it shouldn’t be so inconsistent either. There should be no breaking up to make up, no devastating lows just to reach their highs. It should be steady.

4. You feel guilty for spending time with other people

This should be a “Never” kind of situation. If your beau makes you feel bad for doing something that doesn’t involve them, it’s a red flag. Of course they’re allowed to be bummed—hanging out with you is the best ever— but you should never feel guilt-tripped. That’s just rude, immature, and a total bonerkill.

5. You feel like you need to change

If someone dates you, they must understand that you are sold as is. They are not on an episode of Flipping Out and you are not a fixer-upper in Laurel Canyon. One of the great things about being in a relationship is opening yourself up to new experiences. You can date someone who loves comic books and totally begin to understand the genius of Stan Lee. Hell, you should even go to Comic Con! Why not? But these are your choices. It’s something you should want to do. You shouldn’t feel pressure from the other party. If they’re giving you crap about the fact that you like to eat meat or wear high-waisted skirts, you should just be like, “LOVE ME 4 ME!” and run away sobbing hysterically. Just kidding. Don’t do that. But keep the skirt on and order the steak. TC mark

image – katerha

Ryan O'Connell

I'm a brat.

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  • Duchatnoir18

    for me to point 4 and 5 are the most important

  • Syd

    I’ve always heard that a man falls in love with a woman hoping she’ll never change, and a woman falls in love with a man hoping she can change him. I feel like most of the men I’ve dated start out being the most amazing sweet and romantic guy, but once they reach boyfriend status they figure they don’t need to try as hard, so I’m left trying to change him back into the man I started dating. It’s exhausting. Why does the romance have to stop once the prize is won?

    • margaret

      why do we constantly feel the need to impress the opposite sex during the first crucial months and then suddenly stop caring afterwards? men somehow feel the need to revert back to “themselves” and prove that you can’t change them. if the sweet and romantic guy isn’t you, then please don’t pretend to be one in order to impress me. it’s lame, it’s fake and it’s immature. if you love someone, you will try, trust me.

      • Syd

        thank you! it’s false advertising! if you’re an apathetic, unromantic guy, that’s great. good for you. be that guy. don’t be some other guy and then tell me i’m being irrational and trying to make you “someone you’re not” you’re the one who introduced me to that guy you’re not!

      • Cockyrocky

        if he changes that much then he probably just doesn’t like you..

  • gray

    The fuck is wrong with high-waisted skirts?

    • Guest

      Everything. Especially the floral ones.

  • http://twitter.com/happyoverde sopa fria

    That is exactly whats happen to me. How you know ?.
    My life is going down 

  • guest

    I AM NOT A FIXER-UPPER IN LAUREL CANYON

  • guest

    I AM NOT A FIXER-UPPER IN LAUREL CANYON

  • http://www.onemoresalute.com One More Salute to Vanity

    But what if I like “a nap and an early bird dinner at Mimi’s Cafe”???

    • John Warmuth

      THEN YOU HAVE TO CHANGE

      • http://www.onemoresalute.com One More Salute to Vanity

        LOVE ME 4 ME!

  • http://twitter.com/no_cazador hunter ray

    I think people get shit more often for NOT eating meat. 

    not that I would know about that or anything.

    • http://www.nosexcity.com NoSexCity

      Interesting – I listened to a couple have a weirdly lighthearted fight over this in a restaurant last night. So awkward.

  • http://www.nosexcity.com NoSexCity

    Oh man… all the LJ/relationships of my distant path are haunting me already. This is soooo true. Also makes me wonder how many couples will make it to the end of summer…

  • vee

    god you’re amazing, ryan :P 

  • Ama

    I am so sending this to my friend who keeps bugging me about her shitty relationship. Every single one item on this list gets a check in her case.

  • [guest]

    … my last relationship got all of the above.. and i’m a total opposite of point number 5, i change my thinking/personality from time to  time and i felt afraid to change coz i didnt put ‘chameleon’ up on the table before.
    awesome article though. definitely going to check this list for next relationship. ;]

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1198922828 Marianna Elvira

    This is great. I laughed out loud.

  • guest

    “It’s a bipolar rollercoaster” -Brilliant!
     

  • Thought Catalog

    Reblogged this on Mikaela Ayeera's and commented:
    Hmmmm…..

  • http://creepystapler.wordpress.com/2013/04/21/hey/ Hey | bloo.p

    […] “Your significant other is supposed to chill you out from the daily crap you have to deal with, not add to it.” – […]

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