If This Is The End, This Is What I Want You To Know

I want you to know that I truly cared
even though I didn’t really say it,
even though I didn’t really show it,
but I did, I still do.

I want you to know that I could’ve stayed
if only you asked,
if only you said something – anything, 
if I felt like you truly needed me

But I felt like maybe you don’t,
like maybe there’s someone else,
like you’re pushing me away on purpose
because you’re not feeling it.

I want you to know that I wish we had more time
to talk about deeper things,
to go to all these coffee shops and bars,
to watch the stars together one more time.

I want you to know that it wasn’t easy for me
walking away, starting over, forgetting you.
It’s still not easy.
You’re still unforgettable.

But I felt like you needed space,
you preferred distance,
you picked someone else.
I wasn’t the one for you.

But I want you to know that I could’ve tried
to be everything you ever wanted
but that would be a happy ending
and you got used to sad ones.

So if this is the end,
I want you to know that
I wasn’t the one who ended it —
that it might never end for me.

Rania Naim is a poet and author of the new book All The Words I Should Have Said, available here.