It’s Not Me, It’s You

God & Man

No, it’s not me. That’s not the reason why I can’t be with you anymore. It’s not me, it’s you. It’s your inability to be there when I need you, not once or twice, but every single time, it’s your inability to make decisions where you definitively choose me. It’s your incapacity to understand that you need to put as much effort in a relationship as the other person you are with. It’s the way you took me for granted.

It’s not me, it’s definitely you. It’s the way I’m always the first to text and call and make an effort and how you just laid back in this relationship and expected everything to be done for you. It’s the way you thought you could put in uncomfortable situations with people I don’t like simply because you wanted more people to hang out with when those people aren’t even your friends. It’s how you allowed your friends and family to walk all over me and didn’t once step in to protect me and yelled at me for saying “no” to them and protecting myself.

It’s not me, it’s a hundred percent you. It’s the way you assume it was my job to cater to you in this relationship and never to reciprocate. Change my plans to fit your schedule, answer the phone on the first ring when you rarely even look at yours.

No, I am not going to sit here and pretend the problem was me when very clearly it was you. You don’t get to treat me like I am nothing but a fire you need to warm your hands by only to douse it out when the time has come to leave. I am not a glass of water for you to drink from and throw the rest into the sink. I am better than that, I am the healing you desperately needed but chose not to see. So forgive me for saying what needs to be said here, it was unequivocally, a hundred percent you, not an ounce of this was on me. TC mark

Nikita Gill

Nikita is the author of Your Soul Is A River, a book about healing and becoming whole again.

Your Soul Is A River

“Love a soft person. The ones who are positive, even in the worst of circumstances. Someone whose strength is not in bravado, but in their quiet. Someone who is strong for others because that is what is needed in that moment. Someone who is the moon that soothes instead of the sun that burns. Someone who sees the very best in people even when you think they aren’t worth it. The kind of person who always wants to do the best for those they love.”
—Excerpt from Your Soul Is A River, by Nikita Gill

“I bought this on a whim to read as I was resting for the night, and I do not regret it one bit! Everything about the poetry in this book is amazing, heart breaking, and soul searching. It will lift your spirits on your darkest days. I want to thank the author so much for writing this, as it’s something I will be rereading a lot! Always remember, everything about you is important. You matter.” —McKayla

Buy The Book

More From Thought Catalog

Calming CBD Dog Treats

Looking to calm your dog down without embarrassing yourself or having to get prescription medication? 100% THC free, lip-smacking peanut butter flavor, legal in all US states.

“My dog is my best friend and knowing that she had separation anxiety was killing me. Knowing that her CBD oil keeps her at ease while I’m at work or out is a relief. For both of us.”
— Kendra Syrdal

Thought Catalog readers get 20% off using coupon code: ANXIETY20

Buy CBD dog treats