A Millennial Procrastinator Files Her Goddamn Taxes
You’d think she’d be all about getting free money as soon as humanly possible, but nooo, she waited until there were only 24 hours left to file.
Nicole Stawiarski
I am always late. To everything.
Latest Posts
Here Are The 10 (Millennial) Commandments
I am Lorde. Ya Ya Ya. I am Lorde. Thou shouldst listen to her lyrics. They are great. Thou wast so not this wise at 21. Not even close.
I Want A Silly Love
Watch me weave in the things you love as I so eagerly commit them to memory, one by one.
April Is The ‘Cruellest’ Month
Looking at one of the many calendars I keep (it’s March 31st as I type this) and realizing that tomorrow will be the first day of April, I took down my copy of The Waste Land, which I purchased so I could feel smart and cultured, off of its shelf, and began to read.
How The Most Perfect Girls Became A Brood Of Bitches
This is her first impression of me. Loud, obnoxious, and well on my way to being drunk.
9 Ways To Tell If The Person You Are Trying To Sleep With Is Homeless Or Just An Aspiring Comedian
When The Timing Is All Wrong
I don’t believe in fate or destiny or some kind of magical “right” timing, but I do think sometimes things come together and make sense.
21 Millennial Childhood Fantasies That Still *Really* Appeal To Me As An Adult
How To Grow The Fuck Up And Really Get To Know Yourself In The Process
Learn to stare out into the night sky, sometimes through tears, not knowing a goddamn thing. Let that become your mantra. I don’t know. Find peace in the truthfulness of it.
A Concise List Of Ways I Want To Be Loved
I want to be loved in a tenderly – by lips that part not in order to speak but to take my own between them and tell me the secret, heartfelt things for which there are no words.
