“Hope” when you’re in a relationship versus “hope” when you’re taking a hiatus from the dating scene are two entirely different things, but they are equally valuable. When you aren’t searching for the love of your life, it pushes you to hope for literally anything else. So much of your hope and effort is expended on wanting love, looking for love, finding love, and resurrecting lost love. When that isn’t what you’re chasing, you have so much room in your life to be hopeful about milestones that don’t revolve around romance.
Single does not mean “looking for love.” Single means having the love of parents, friends, and family. It means not settling for less than what you deserve. It means learning to love yourself. Anyone who ever presumes to have more love than you do in their lives because of a relationship is overstating.
You cannot rely on anyone but yourself to make you happy. Again: you cannot rely on anyone but yourself to make you happy. One more time: You cannot rely on anyone but yourself to make you happy.
Excitement that only comes with missing someone when you haven’t seem them in the long time: the human equivalent of how dogs feels when their owner walks through the door. This emotion isn’t reserved for people in long distance relationships. Whether you’re in long distance friendships, or you just want to see your family after a long week, that is pure anticipation over seeing someone you love. You also experience anticipation when you have a new crush, or when you find out what it feels like to care about someone new, kiss someone new, or experience things with a new love interest.
The trust you share with the people in your life who know things that you would never tell anyone else is the most important trust you can experience. Think about it this way: the trust you might one day build with a significant other is still years away from being comparable to the trust between you and a best friend. Years of “promise you won’t tells” cannot be beaten by a romantic relationship.
Before you earn the respect of your significant other, or your coworkers, you have the unconditional respect of your friends. But none of these is the respect you need to seek out. The only person’s respect you need to chase is your own. Respecting yourself is the first step toward showing how valuable you are to the people you work with, your friends, and your potential relationships.
People associate safety with being in a secure relationship. Somehow, falling in love became synonymous with “security” and “safety” simply because having a partner you can rely contributes to making you feel safe. Yes, true, but it is not guaranteed in a relationship, nor are you without safety if you’re not in a relationship. Security comes from having a support system, and you don’t need a relationship to have amazing people in your life who are always on your side.
We reserve feelings of companionship for those with Serious Companions, but having a partner you may or may not have for life is not the only thing that guarantees a close connection with another human being. Soulmates are not only found in romantic relationships.
Relaxing by yourself is the highest form of relaxation you can ever achieve. Unwinding is most effective as a solo act. Recharging on your own time while indulging in your personal favorite things is what enables you to be at your best the next day.
And the genuine belief that there are good things out there, and that they are coming your way. Wonder goes hand-in-hand with curiosity and the desire to discover, explore, and do new things. There will be a point in your life where you won’t have time to exercise your curiosity, or consider life paths other than the one you are on, so relish it while you can.
Because if you think you need a partner to have a human being to be thankful for, then you need to find better friends before you go any further.
I would argue that you tap into this even more so when you aren’t in a relationship, because when you’re single, you only have to worry about yourself. You aren’t bound by someone else’s agenda. You move where you want to move, you take the job that fits your schedule, you travel to the destination of your dreams. And when you want to make an impulsive choice, you don’t have to consult anyone else.
Your confidence should never be reliant on the feeling a romantic relationship gives you. All that does is make you vulnerable, because if you lose the relationship, you lose your confidence too. There is so much else that you can draw confidence from.
14. Desire, or the feeling of being desired.
There’s some Pinterest quote about not frowning when you’re sad because someone is falling in love with your smile. And while I think that it’s nonsense because you should definitely frown as much as you damn well please, I think the fact that people care about you and gravitate toward you without you even realizing it is a point well taken. Yes, being in a relationship means knowing you’re desired, and by whom. But just because you aren’t attached to someone does not (by any means) imply there aren’t interested parties. This doesn’t mean you have to capitalize on that — and you shouldn’t if you’d only be taking interest in someone for the sake of a relationship — but more people appreciate you than you think.