Another one has ended. Another one has ended things with me, again, and I am mentally drained. I’ve felt so empty these past few days.
I always pretend I know so much about endings, about temporary people, about changes and leaving like I studied it.
But, you see, as I sit here in this tiny convenience store, drinking an awful lemon tea, feeling so lost, pain is rushing through my chest. I’m trying so hard to stop crying because this isn’t a nice place to cry, but it’s hard.
Even though this is a different ending, it still hurts just the same.
As we grow old, we understand that people are like seasons. They come and they go. So as we learn, we try to avoid getting close with someone or getting so attached because at the end of the day they will find their own path and perhaps our road was never paved to intertwine with theirs forever.
People are like beautiful places you’ve been; you want to stay there forever but you can’t.
And even if you cry a thousand tears, it will never change. We are all momentary in someone’s life. We are temporary.
Life is like this convenience store; we buy and grab things we need and after we pay for it, we leave. And I wonder why life has to be this way. Why it always hurts to leave.
It’s so hard to live your life having no strong ground to stand on. It’s so hard to depend on someone because you know they will eventually leave. It’s so much harder to invest your emotions to a person because you don’t know how long they will actually be by your side.
Every ending hurts because everyone you meet in your life somehow mattered to you. It hurts because life won’t be the same without them anymore. It’s like trying to restart a new beginning without the people you used to laugh with. It’s hard to pretend everything’s okay.
Endings – they truly hurt.
But endings are just terrible disasters in our life, and though they destroy us momentarily, there is so much more to life. We are all capable of moving forward, of regaining the energy we lost along the way, of accepting that both people and things are temporary.
Endings are a part of our life, and endings can be good beginnings, too. Just because someone ended it, doesn’t mean you have to drop everything. Sometimes you have to let go to let other people come in.