Honestly, If You Really Want Something—Sometimes You Have To Get It Yourself

If you want something bad enough, you’ll go get it. I’ve heard this phrase for years and years. Those words have been engrained in my mind and repeated so often that truthfully, I had to look them up to see if they were attributed to a specific person, or just a common proverb we’ve learned to recite in the moments we need inspiration. (And to answer that question, the phrase has been shared and rewritten thousands of times by people all looking to push themselves and others into action, so I’m not sure if there even is an original author.)

But the truth of the phrase remains:

Sometimes in life the only person that can make something happen for yourself is you.

You can wait for things to happen, you can hold your breath, you can ask for help, you can wish and hope and pray aimlessly. You can be a bystander in your own life but that won’t get you anywhere. Patience while being passive is futile.

If you want something to happen, you have to actively take steps to achieve it, to reach it, to find it, to chase it, to obtain it.

You can’t simply cross your fingers, send thoughts up to God, or believe it will happen without doing a single thing. You can’t ask someone to make it happen for you. You can’t think you’re entitled to everything your heart desires.

You have to go.
You have to believe.
You have to move.

And that doesn’t mean you step on other people to get what you want. That doesn’t mean you ignore someone’s wishes, or force them to feel something, think something, or love you back. That doesn’t mean you disregard boundaries, disrespect people, or put yourself selfishly first in every single scenario. That doesn’t mean you push things, or make them happen unnaturally.

What it means is that you go wildly in the direction of what inspires you, what feels right, what makes sense, while loving others and understanding that life doesn’t always go according to your timeline. And this is okay.

Because it’s infinitely better to take matters into your own hands then to just stand there, waiting for life to happen.

No, you won’t always get what you want when you want it. No, you can’t bend God’s plan to meet yours. No, you won’t find all the answers immediately, or know what you’re doing all the time.

But if you really want something, the first step starts with you.

The first step starts with acknowledging the fact that dreams won’t fall in your lap if you don’t do anything to follow them. The first step starts with understanding that you won’t find your forever person if you’re sitting alone in your bedroom wishing for them.

If you want something bad enough, you’ll go get it. Which means you’ll take active steps in faith. Which means you’ll trust God, trust the universe, trust yourself enough to go forward and let the right things come to you.

Which means you’ll stop feeling sorry for yourself and believe that good things are coming. Which means you’re the only one who can control your heart, your mind, your happiness—and for goodness sake, why don’t you choose to run in the direction of what makes you happy?

If you want to tell someone you care, do it. If you want to leave a job, find another option and make it happen. If you want to have an awkward conversation, initiate it. If you want something to change, start doing something to cause things to shift.

Your life will stay the same if you do nothing to alter it.

So stop wishing for something without actively moving towards it. Stop praying without purpose. Stop standing still, hoping you’ll be led to where you’re meant to be. Stop waiting.

And go. Thought Catalog Logo Mark

Marisa is a writer, poet, & editor. She is the author of Somewhere On A Highway, a poetry collection on self-discovery, growth, love, loss and the challenges of becoming.

Keep up with Marisa on Instagram, Twitter, Amazon and marisadonnelly.com