I’ve heard that cliché so many times before—when you find the right person, when you get the right job, when you’re on the right track, you’ll know—and for the longest time I couldn’t help but find that annoying. What does it mean to ‘know’? Would I have this fluttering heartbeat, this subconscious sense, this universe-given affirmation that this is exactly who I’m supposed to be loving or what I’m supposed to be doing?
I went through life like a regular person, exploring ideas, dating people, taking jobs I cared about or didn’t, making mistakes. I never felt like I was fully ‘right,’ like I had everything together, like everything made perfect sense. Until it did.
Until, suddenly, there wasn’t any doubt in my mind. Until I felt a sense of peace in my heart, in my soul. Until I realized that all the time before I’d been running around, searching in the wrong places, bouncing from thing to thing never feeling satisfied or like I belonged. Until I realized that my life had the potential to be good, really good, if I simply let it.
I’d always been told that the ‘right’ things will come. People I looked up to cautioned me to not settle for anything less than what felt absolutely perfect—and not that it would stay that way, but that I shouldn’t compromise out of fear, or time, or circumstance. That I should fall when I’m ready into arms that are ready in return. That I should only accept a job if it tugs at my heartstrings. That I should chase any dream or goal that gives me shivers, without looking back.
I was reminded, time and time again, that things would fall into place when I trusted God’s plan instead of trying to carve my own. That when I finally surrendered all my selfish desires in exchange for His story, I would find peace. I would find my purpose. I would find where I was meant to be.
And I spent so much time fighting that, thinking I knew everything, knew what was ‘right,’ knew who I was. I spent so much damn time ignoring, trying to pretend relationships were healthy or jobs were fun when I knew, deep down, that wasn’t the truth.
I thought I could simply make things work out in my favor if I just ignored all those feelings in the back of my mind that this wasn’t what I was supposed to be doing, who I was supposed to be. But the truth was, the more I tried to shut out those inner doubts, the more they surfaced.
Until I was forced to acknowledge the truth of that old cliché—when it’s right you’ll know—and it wasn’t right, I could feel it.
People I loved, people I admired, even Christians who first sparked my faith told me that I would feel a calm in my chest, feel the Spirit working through me, feel some sort of confirmation that I was on the right track, with the right person, doing the right thing. And I didn’t understand what they meant until I felt that exact thing.
The truth is, when it’s right, you will know. You will have this sense of everything around you—peace, understanding, joy, rest. You won’t be afraid.
You’ll know that things might not always stay ‘right,’ and they definitely won’t be perfect, but that wasn’t what you were searching for anyways. You’ll know that opportunities and people will fall together and fall apart in the natural progression of life, but you’ll have this inner mantra, inner verification of all that you’ve been searching for finally coming to fruition.
You’ll feel like God is speaking to you, like your mind has finally opened, like your soul can finally dance and sing and be filled. You’ll look at the person you’re with and see all their blemishes and bruises and messy past and accept them, love them, choose them because they are yours, and what you have is real.
You’ll understand why it didn’t work out with the people who came before, why that old job didn’t satisfy the longing in your chest, why you always felt like something was missing, or off, or incomplete. You’ll send a prayer to the sky for all that you’ve finally realized—when you let go and let Him, true beauty blooms everywhere you touch.
But most of all, you’ll understand the meaning behind that old cliché. That we spend our days searching, wandering, desperate for something real so much so, we settle for anything close instead of being patient and letting what’s meant to be find us. That when we find what’s right, we’ll understand somewhere deep inside our hearts. That without a doubt, we’ll know.