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Stop Chasing Love—Chase Light Instead

Stop chasing love. As if that’s the most important thing. As if that’s your purpose—to find it, to hold it in your hands. As if your worth is dependent upon your relationship status. As if love is all you’ll ever amount to, and nothing else.

Stop chasing love. As if it’s the answer. As if it’s the point. As if being with someone will determine who you are, or whether or not you’re having a good life. As if there’s nothing else out there for you.

Love is beautiful. There’s no denying that. The ability to intertwine your heart and life with someone, learning to let them in, trusting them with everything that’s a part of you—that’s incredible. At the end of the day, there’s no stronger bond. At the end of the day, to love and be loved is the most wonderful part of being human.

But love is all around us, not just in our romantic relationships. You are not less worthy, less special, less deserving of happiness simply because you haven’t found the right person yet.

Love is beautiful. But it’s not everything.

You’re going to fall in and out of connections. You’re going to fall deeply into someone who doesn’t return the affection in the same magnitude. You’re going to believe in something that ends up unraveling and falling apart. You’re going to be broken sometimes. And this is okay.

Because you’ll learn. You’ll grow. You’ll pick up the pieces, rebuild, and start again. You’ll find someone new. You’ll love with just as much tenacity. You’ll stop apologizing for your heart and you’ll let go of the past so you can step forward without so much baggage. You’ll trust.

But stop chasing love. Stop making it the center of your life, the purpose and definition of who you are. When you’re pursuing yourself, the connections will come. When you’re falling in love with who you are, stumbling into it will be easy. When you’re focusing less on relationships as a marker of your worth and instead your self-love, you’ll see that you’ve always been worthy—a relationship doesn’t change that.

So stop chasing love. Let it come to you. Let it bloom when the timing is right. Let it be beautiful, all on its own.

In the meantime, chase light. Chase things that make you feel alive, passions that fill your soul, ideas and dreams that keep you up at night. Chase things that taste like freedom, that make your mind spin with joy. Chase light in the sense of fostering it within yourself and the people around you.

Make your life not solely about who you’re loving, but how you’re loving your world.

At the end of the day, romantic love is not everything. Bringing light, being light, building light—that’s what matters. So stop chasing everything that resembles forever. And pursue yourself instead.

Love will find you. In the meantime, shine bright. Thought Catalog Logo Mark

About the author

Marisa Donnelly

Marisa is a writer, poet, & editor. She is the author of Somewhere On A Highway, a poetry collection on self-discovery, growth, love, loss and the challenges of becoming.