1. One boob being bigger, rounder, and ultimately better-shaped than the other. #thestruggleisREAL. How am I supposed to find a swimsuit or bra that actually fits when my chest is asymmetrical?!??
2. The strap falling off the shoulders. So. Freaking. Annoying. I have better things to do than continually reaching into my shirt like a weirdo to pull up a fallen bra strap. CAN YOU JUST STAY ON MY DAMN SHOULDER?! YOU HAVE ONE JOB.
3. The struggle of not finding a size that fits. Ever. Medium swimsuit tops are basically nip-slips to the world and smalls pinch to the point of pain, so, like, what do I do??!?
4. NEVER WANTING TO WASH YOUR BRAS EVER because you need them every day and do they really get that dirty when you’re just walking around, living your life?? And why is the bra-washing process so difficult??
5. Top sizes that make absolutely no freaking sense. What is a small vs. small-medium? How the hell am I supposed to know what determines a small boob from a small-medium boob??? Like, is there a measuring device??
6. The constant struggle of wearing a strapless bra. (If you’re even brave enough to purchase one, that is.) These suck. Oh, excuse me while I readjust FOR THE TWENTY MILLIONTH TIME because my boobs are basically popping out. Don’t mind me.
7. Awkwardly getting measured at the bra store. Uhmm…sure, I’d love to know my bra size. But I’d rather not have you put measuring tape around my chest in the middle of a crowded department store and then announce my cup-size to the world. Cool.
8. Having massive cleavage when you’re just trying to hangout. Like, just chill.
9. The two extremes of bras—either total push-up or flat as can be. Helloooo there are people in the world who aren’t trying to show off their boobs to everyone, but also don’t want the no-chest look. Is it that hard to find a middle ground here??
10. The fact that the super cute bras are always the impractical ones. Lace, colorful patterns, the frilly little ribbon on the bottom—totally cute, but totally not real life. All that stuff sees through or sticks through your t-shirts…aka pointless.
11. THE RIDICULOUS PRICE. I mean, comeonnnn. $60 for a bra?? That thing must have like a built-in boob massager or be made of gold or something, because sh*t is b-a-n-a-n-a-s.
12. The chest soreness. Like to the point where you have to hold those puppies in place while walking down the stairs type of soreness. Literally the worst.
13. When you’re trying to run like a normal, athletic-type person…but really just look like Baywatch. Trust me, I’m not trying to look sexy rn with my sweaty face and my basketball shorts and Nikes. Look away.
14. The fact that it’s still not acceptable to be braless. Can we just embrace the freedom?
15. The strap-digging-into-back dilemma/major back fat rolls because your bra is too damn tight but if you loosen it, your boobs will look saggy so, like, SOS because there’s no practical option here.
16. Not wanting to spend money on a plain, ugly nude bra but having to because you need it for any light-colored outfit. Ugh. You mean it’s not acceptable to have your bra showing through your shirt anymore??? #adultingprobs.
17. Sports bras that don’t really hold those suckers in. They say they do, but it’s all a lieeeee.
18. Never knowing what type of bra to wear to a concert because, like, you need strapless for the sundress, but you need some legit support for dancing around all night…#seriousdilemma.
19. Planning your life around your boobs. Seriously. There’s only like 5 things you can wear to church that don’t make you look like a cleavage monster, so essentially reconstructing your entire wardrobe for those lumps of fat on your chest.
20. Looking like you’re super chunky in baggy clothes because your boobs take over your whole chest area. Cuteeee.
21. The daily inconvenience. They just get in the freaking way—when you’re trying to discreetly move around someone, when you’re trying to run, when you’re just trying to do things that require small spaces, etc. etc.
22. Not being able to wear some shirts because you just can’t. Too much boob, too little boob, weird boob. There’s always something.
23. The fact that boys just don’t get itttttt. Having boobs is hard, okay???!?