You didn’t expect it. You didn’t invite it. You didn’t deserve it. Yet you are going through tough times. You feel the emotional pain in your body and mind. Your spirit is crashed. You feel there’s nothing you can do. But that’s not true. No matter what happened, how difficult of painful, you still have a choice of when and how to pick up your pieces and start living your life again. The life you choose, not the life you hoped others would give you.

Close your ears; don’t listen to what other people say about you. Basically, this is gossip, and it’s never good. Unless someone you know and trust offers you face-to-face constructive feedback, you can pretty much ignore what others around you say about you.

Close your mouth; don’t go moaning and groaning about your problems. It’s natural that you want to confide in friends and get their support, but there’s a limit to that. The more you talk about hardships, failures, troubles, and struggles, the more you invite them in your life. By focusing on these experiences, you don’t allow your brain to think positive, see and seize opportunities.

Focus on the positive. No matter what, there’s something positive in your life right now. What is it? Jot it down. In fact, make a list with ten good, positive things, even if they are small.

Design your life. Where do you want to go next? Just because you are here, in a place of pain or failure, it doesn’t mean you are doomed or stuck here forever. What’s next?

Write down your dreams. Big, small, easy or hard, possible or seemingly impossible, dreams are the mind’s fuel to keep going. Make a list of your dreams.

Set goals. Start small. Get out of bed. Make your bed. Do this or that small thing that will lead you eventually to realize your goals. But start!

Stay focused. It’s so easy to get distracted browsing sites, scrolling down your twitter feed, admiring other people’s “perfect lives” on Facebook. Stay focused on what your heart desires.

Look for the takeaway from your recent experience and the opportunity for learning and growth. Seriously. What doesn’t kill us makes us stronger. That’s true for any situation.

Laugh more. You deserve to have happy moments, to enjoy life, to connect with your inner source of joy. Add some laughter in your life, embracing positive laughter shared with friends.

In the end everything will be alright. Remember this! Fears, worries, pain, eventually fade; you realize the worse you expected didn’t come. Life has a way of sorting things out.