20 Hilarious Pick-Up Lines For The Average Asshole Venture Capitalist

1. Mark Cuban watches my Ted talk as porn.

2. You’re making my valuation rise.

3. That’s not a pitch deck in my pocket.

4. I turn into a unicorn around you, horny.

5. I’m looking for a Series D-cup to invest in and I like your specs.

6. Want to see my IPO face?

7. I gave Zuckerberg the idea for Facebook.

8. You look like the kind of girl who knows how to Lean In.

9. You just made my AngelList.

10. I’ve got something for you and your cute friend to co-found.

11. Are looking for an accelerator, because you’re speeding up my heart rate.

12. I’m not sure if you’ve heard, but I’m a famous Thought Leader. 1

13. Baby, a night with me has a huge ROI.

14. Send me your deal terms because I’d love to see your fine print.

15. I want a tour around your incubator.

16. I hope you have a high liquidation preference because I’ll be making it rain
tonight.

17. I hope you don’t mind but I gave my friend participation rights.

18. If you’re looking for a successful exit, I’m ready to cash out for the night.

19. I don’t need to do an S-curve evaluation to know that you’ve got assets.

20. You don’t need to do any due diligence on me because after tonight you’ll know which positions I’ll be doing.