This Is Why It’s So Hard For People With Anxiety To Find Love

girl in lights
Allef Vinicius

Every move, every conversation, and every minute is overthought. Every thing is magnified. Your every emotion is tripled. You’re terrified. Because you don’t want to get hurt. And you’re petrified, because falling in love is the scariest game in the world. And you don’t want to lose.

It’s an incredibly vulnerable position to put yourself through. One side of your heart wants to fall because you know how incredible love can be. And the other side just doesn’t even want to try.

You’re scared and excited. You want to try, but another huge part of you already wants to give up.

The last time you were in love was a long time ago. You barely remember what that even felt like. It’s so foreign to you. It’s so distant from who you are now.

People with anxiety magnify their every thought and feeling. So when they are seeing someone new, or when they are even going on a first date, their anxiety blasts on full force. Their anxiety makes them want to run as far as they can. Their anxiety makes them want to cancel. Their anxiety makes them want to disappear. Because in their minds, that’s better than being hurt. That’s better than getting disappointed. That’s better than rejection.

People with anxiety have so many emotions already boiling up in their every cell. Add another human person to the equation, and they are ready to bolt.

It’s not that they don’t want to find love. It’s not that they want to be forever alone. It’s not that they want to someday be 80-years old and live with fifty cats. They want love. They crave love. They miss love.

But their anxiety, always, always gets in the way.

Their anxiety tells them to stop. Their anxiety tells them to not feel anything. Their anxiety tells them to become numb. Because feeling nothing at all is better than feeling broken hearted.

But you see, their anxiety is lying to them. And some day, they will meet someone who will shout louder than their anxiety. Some day, their anxiety will be hushed to a whisper. Some day, they will meet someone who will make them want to finally try.

It won’t be easy. It won’t happen in a day. It won’t happen suddenly, at the drop of a hat. It will happen gradually, slowly and patiently.

People with anxiety have beautiful hearts that are open and that are so full of love. They just need a little nudge to keep on going. To keep on trying. They just need to be patient with themselves and with their hearts. It will happen. It will happen one day. Don’t you worry.

The right person won’t make their anxiety go away. But the right person won’t make you to run away as fast as you canTC mark

Lauren Jarvis-Gibson

For more poetry and writing follow me on Instagram!

Bring magic to your Instagram feed ✨

You look back and you just feel stupid.
You can’t forgive yourself for falling
or believing all the lies.
You reread every text.
You relive every memory.
And it all starts making sense —
he never wanted love.
He only wanted attention.
He only wanted validation.

“It’s just wondrous how every time I go through some emotional trauma, your posts are so relatable and it gives me so much hope. I love the writing and the photos. It’s all a pleasure to read. I can’t thank you enough for it, really.” — DM from @ThoughtCatalog Instagram follower

Bring beauty to your feed

More From Thought Catalog