Depression Makes Me Believe There’s No Use In Trying

Depression is a black cloud. Some days I can overcome it. Other days there’s no way through it. It is heavy. And blurs my vision. It stops me in my tracks. Not allowing me to move.

Depression is that lonely feeling in the pit of your stomach. You don’t want to eat. You don’t want to socialize. You don’t want to do anything. You don’t even want to be.

Sleep becomes your favorite thing. It’s your happy place. Because it’s then when you can disappear. You don’t have to think. You don’t have to worry. Until you wake up, that is.

Depression is all-consuming. It takes over your life. You become a shadow of the person you used to be. And you don’t know quite when it will take over. Some days are better than others. Some days are even good. But then it’s back. That uninvited guest to the party.

Depression makes me believe there’s no use in trying. It makes me think I’m not good enough. It makes me believe I’m a failure. That everything I do is wrong. That nobody wants me in their life. That nothing will ever be enough.

Depression makes me cry myself to sleep. Sometimes it makes me sit in silence. It makes me zone out. It makes me disassociate from friends who want the best for me. It makes me say no to plans, and not answer my phones for days.

Depression swallows you whole and makes you a shell of yourself. It makes getting out of bed a great task. It messes with your head. You begin to question everyone and everything about your life.

Sometimes you don’t know what other people are going through. Maybe they’re being distant, maybe they’re being rude, or maybe they’re really going through something. Be kind. Ask how people are. You just don’t know. Maybe you asking will help, just a little, for someone who is going through a tough time.

About the author

Kristin Rattigan

Chicago born and raised. Stay strong but sweet.