When You Feel Lost, Confused, And Unfulfilled This Is Exactly How You Change It

Leo Hidalgo

You feel lost not because you are but because you continue to look at others and where they are and compare it to you.

You feel lonely not because you don’t have friends but because you’re sitting home alone looking at everyone’s snap stories and insta posts and you are the one determining that their life is better than yours.

You feel unaccomplished not because you are but because instead of looking at all the things you’ve done, you’ve shifted your focus on the things you haven’t done yet or are too afraid to do.

You feel sad because you have acknowledged that happiness isn’t a destination but a state of being that will come and go. And instead of looking ahead at your next moment of happiness you are looking behind and building the past up to something it wasn’t.

Let go of it all and learn to focus on where you are right now not where you were. Because there is no going back. There’s no recreating a memory. Value what was without placing so much emphasis on what isn’t anymore.

You feel unloved not because of your relationship status but because you haven’t figured out how to love and appreciate yourself first.

You haven’t sat down with yourself alone to eat or think or do something by yourself because you are focused more on what people will think of you when you are doing it.

You are surrounded by company but you feel like you’re in a room all alone because just maybe you are in the wrong room with the wrong people who aren’t building you up the way you deserve. And that’s the loneliest feeling of all.

You feel empty because put everyone else’s needs before your own and then they walk away with all you’ve given them. But the thing is they didn’t ask for you to do that. You haven’t mastered giving to yourself first.

You feel nothing sometimes not because you are cold but because you are so afraid to feel anything deeply at all, that you repress those feelings all together as if feeling pain and sadness is wrong and you shouldn’t. As if letting yourself be happy is wrong.

It feels wrong because it’s unfamiliar. And it feels unfamiliar because you’re settling. And you are settling because you are afraid. And you are afraid because if you do obtain happiness and fulfillment you fear losing it.

You feel like you’ve failed not because of a grade or some rejection letter but because instead of looking at those things as a sign to learn something you are placing worth in places it shouldn’t be.

Take those moments of defeat and try to find the lesson in them.

You feel tired and it has nothing to do with your sleeping pattern but emotionally you aren’t taking care of yourself.

You are hungry not physically. But mentally and emotionally you want something more than what you have but something is holding you back from achieving it.


You don’t like the person looking back at you in the mirror not because you need to workout more or lose weight but you are attaching happiness and fulfillment to something concrete.

You don’t need to change physically but mentally. You want to change anything in your life you have to first accept what you have right now and value it.

When you live with the mindset of, I’ll be happy when… you move out, you leave this town, you get that job, you will never truly be happy because you haven’t learned how to appreciate this moment right now.

Appreciation and gratitude are the keys to being happy.

You feel unfulfilled not because of what you are doing but because of what you aren’t doing. You aren’t pursuing that dream. You aren’t quitting that job you hate. You aren’t going after that thing that keeps you up at night.

Happiness comes down to a few things:

1. Finding your passion, something you are proud of, something that makes you want to wake up in the morning.

2. Finding the courage to let go of the things and people that make you unhappy.

So much of our own happiness comes down to the things we do, the things we are afraid to do. The excuses we make of why we can’t do that. And focusing more on what we don’t have rather than the things we do.

You look at someone else who appears to have the life you want, instead of admiring that they have it you are overcome with envy. That apartment. That relationship. That job. That item. Instead of being happy for them you wonder why can’t I have those things too? Here’s the secret. You can.

The law of attraction works like a boomerang if there is something you want that you don’t have, take a look at the way you view people who have those things.

If you are overcome with negative emotions when those things present themselves in your life, you’ll never attract what it is you want and desire.

When you allow envy and play the comparing game you’re putting yourself in a competition that you are always going to lose because that other person isn’t thinking about where someone else is, that other person is thinking about what their next move is.

So while you are busy watching the steps they take, they are moving forward and making the strides you are jealous of or too scared to.

So much of our happiness has to do with how we handle ourselves. It’s not easy to take a hard look at ourselves and pick apart what needs to change. It’s even harder to make that change. But if you are at a place in your life where you are feeling all these things, taking the first step is vital.

We all deserve happiness and fulfillment but sometimes what is holding us back is ourselves. Thought Catalog Logo Mark

About the author

Kirsten Corley

Writer living in Hoboken, NJ with my 2 dogs.

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