12 Things That Happen In A Relationship After She’s Been Single For A Long Period Of Time

Single
Twenty20

1. She’s not going to be used to being someone’s girlfriend.

When someone’s been single for a long enough time they don’t even know how to be someone’s girlfriend or how to act. All she’s known in the past are a compilation of relationships that led to dead ends for reasons she still might not understand.

2. Labels scare her.

As much as she’d look forward to introducing you as her boyfriend she’ll never be the first to say that. She’ll never demand this be called something. In the past every relationship she thought would be one shut down upon asking, “what are we?” So she doesn’t. She’ll let you make all the big moves and she’ll be a little skeptical at first.

3. Not having 100% freedom is unfamiliar to her.

Girls who have been single for long periods of time have trouble adjusting to suddenly sharing a life with someone. She’s used to her independence. She’s used to doing things alone. She’ll easily get overwhelmed and scared if you jump into everything she does. Remember she’s always going to need a little bit of that freedom.

4. She’s terrified of something going wrong.

Maybe you notice how nervous she is meeting your family. Or how quiet she is in the car when you take her hand. You might look at her and it might feel like she’s not there sometimes. Work to build her trust. So many people in the past just waited for her to mess up as an excuse to leave. So every step she takes she proceeds with caution. Every word she says she thinks twice about.

5. She’ll never put your relationship before her friends.

In past when guys were leading her on and not committing, every time she got her heart broken, her friends were the ones who were there picking up the pieces. Her friends have been around longer than you have. And if learning to live without relationships being the center of your world teaches you anything, it’s the importance of friendships. Any girl who has been single for a long period time what they have is a lot of friends

6. She’ll pull away out of fear and question you.

She’s afraid of something too good to be true. Her past has taught her to be guarded and has really high walls. It’s up to you to counter that and be the example of someone she can trust.

7. Ghosts from her past will always linger.

When you aren’t the relationship type, you have a lot of casual flings and people from your past always coming back to check in on you. You might notice familiar names that blow up her phone or people who give her attention. If you ask her about them, she’ll be honest. And if you treat her better you’ll never have anything to worry about.

Girls who have been single don’t respond to jealousy well. The truth is anyone can come into her life from the past but if she’s choosing you, let that be enough for you.

8. She won’t lose herself to a relationship ever.

She’s made the mistake of making a relationship too much of a priority that she learned better. She’s lost herself to exes and she learned never to do that again.

Of the qualities, you’ll admire most about her is her independence and the fact she doesn’t need a relationship but she’s choosing one is what will set her apart.

9. She might flirt with others and not even realize.

When you’ve been single that long you don’t think too much about flirting or people hitting on you. If anything you learn to hate it but go along with it until their 5-second interest in you fades. If there’s one thing she’s learned it’s too not read too much into people or their intentions.

A girl who has been single for long periods most the time ends up leaving alone and doesn’t mind it that way.

If you’re suddenly starting to date someone like this, know if walk in with her you’ll leave with her regardless of who is there.

Girls who have been single for long periods of time know a thing or two about loyalty and value it as well as you.

10. She’ll value you more than you even know.

Dealing with the wrong love has taught about what’s she’s actually looking for. And if you meet these standards enough that she’ll commit to you she’ll value, appreciate and love you in every way she knows how to.

11. She’ll fear milestones in the relationship.

When your past is just almost relationships and unrequited love you learn to walk certain milestones alone. You look forward to sharing things with someone one day but that one day seems far away sometimes.

Proceed with caution when you want to take the next big steps and know it’ll never be her demanding it. She still looks at you and questions you sometimes. Girls who have been single for long periods of time expect that’s what will happen soon.

Being single isn’t unfamiliar. That’s their comfort zone. What’s pushing them out of it is commitment and relationships and labels.

12. She’ll love you as hard as she knows how to.

Someone who has been single for a long period of time has a lot of love to give but it never went to the right people. If you end up being the right one for her, not only will you suddenly say I love you not fearing it but she’ll teach you what that really means.

In her time alone she’s gotten a chance to realize what love actually is and as much as she might fear relationships she also can’t wait to meet someone who deserves to be in one with her. TC mark

Kirsten Corley

Kirsten is the author of But Before You Leave, a book of poetry about the experiences we struggle to put into words.

Trace the scars life has left you. It will remind you that at one point, you fought for something. You believed.

“You are the only person who gets to decide if you are happy or not—do not put your happiness into the hands of other people. Do not make it contingent on their acceptance of you or their feelings for you. At the end of the day, it doesn’t matter if someone dislikes you or if someone doesn’t want to be with you. All that matters is that you are happy with the person you are becoming. All that matters is that you like yourself, that you are proud of what you are putting out into the world. You are in charge of your joy, of your worth. You get to be your own validation. Please don’t ever forget that.” — Bianca Sparacino

Excerpted from The Strength In Our Scars by Bianca Sparacino.

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Kirsten is the author of But Before You Leave, a book of poetry about the experiences we struggle to put into words. Follow Kirsten on Instagram or read more articles from Kirsten on Thought Catalog.