So, it’s over. This time for real.

What now? You have spent so much time with this person that it felt like second nature to have them around you but it’s not the case anymore. Does time heal all wounds? Maybe, but only if you use this time wisely to heal instead of distracting yourself from the wrenching pain that you now feel once you remind yourself that it is over, truly over. Love is no more

Whether you are the one ending the relationship or the one who got dumped, you will still feel like someone has ripped out your heart and crumpled it before your eyes. From that point on, we start to grieve in our own way. We enter into a state of shock, and experience all kind of emotions. Everyone overcomes a breakup differently, but anyone experiences deep emotional pain from it.

We turn into denial mode and convince ourselves that it not the end of all of it – yet. That there must be some sort of a misunderstanding and that it eventually will restore itself again. When that doesn’t happen, we rage or cry – or both. We start to bargain to make ourselves feel better and try to overcompensate the heartbreak that we are experiencing. No matter what kind of grieving style you apply, you won’t come out of it when you don’t end up in a state of acceptance.

You won’t be done with healing no matter how much you have cried or how much memories you forcefully have erased. You won’t be done with healing just because you have come to a point that you don’t feel the urge to cry when you think about that person. You won’t be done with healing just because you started to resent them or yourself for ending the relationship.

You are still far from being healed unless you accept the hardest truth about your breakup. You are only able to slowly mend the broken pieces of your heart by accepting that your breakup is final, that it won’t have a point of return and that anything that you will do now will be no longer with that person. And that it is okay that it happens this way. You will eventually heal once you let go of hope in alternative scenarios where you still can be together. Only then, you will come to see the other side of a painful breakup, which is a new beginning for new adventures and new memories with new people.