82 Generic White Girls You Definitely Went To College With


1. Caitlyn: Was somehow still able to do homework at 2:30 AM despite being completely blitzed from doing kamikaze shots. And she got good grades on those drunk papers too, somehow.

2. Danielle: Insisted that everyone called her “DAHnielle” not “DANielle” after her semester abroad.

3. Sara (no H): Always had weed. Would always smoke you out.

4. Becca: Got an infinity tattoo and decided to take a year off after graduating to “find herself.” Her instagram is filled with waterfall shots and you are lowkey jealous.

5. Hannah: Is in a really committed relationship with her S/O from senior year. Doesn’t really care about the institution of marriage though, which confuses people.

6. Whitney: Blonde. Hot. Would get lost walking down the grocery aisle if someone wasn’t with her.

7. Alyssa: She was wildly underestimated because she was s-t-u-n-n-i-n-g but the second she opened her mouth in Philosophy class she shut everyone the fuck up.

8. Sam: Wore a lot of backwards caps that she stole from guys she hooked up with.

9. Samantha: Hardly hooked up with anyone and once asked you if you could get pregnant from anal.

10. Brynn: She knitted a lot of headbands in her free time. She now sells them on etsy.

11. Morgan: Somehow spoke four languages despite growing up in Indiana.

12. Rachel: Would never let up about you rushing her sorority even though you were a super senior.

13. Lindsay: You have a faint memory of her almost fighting a bartender. But it doesn’t matter because in that faint memory, she also absolutely won.

14. Tricia: Was always the girl crying in the bathroom during house parties.

15. Kalin: Got really into yoga junior year and decided to “namaste” her way to success.

16. Hailey: Her dad paid her rent. He probably still does.

17. Tabitha: You were always slightly nervous that your boyfriend was going to ask you to do a threesome with her.

18. Britt: Exclusively drank Coors Light and was always trying to get you to go camping even though no one had ANY camping gear.

19. Sarah (with an H): Her Southern accent would always start to creep out when she got a liiiiiiiitle too drunk.

20. Bella: Did not want to hear your Twilight jokes.

21. Addison: Was too perfect. You had to unfriend her on Facebook because her life made you feel like a garbage pail.

22. Jenni: Stopped shaving her armpits and would lecture you about the philosophy of why whenever she got the chance.

23. Eliza: Figured out how to Group Text and would never stop talking about projects and school in said Group Text.

24. Taylor: Lived exclusively off of Dominos and Starbucks and somehow was still a size 2.

25. Alexa: Pierced her own nose on a dare Freshman year in the dorms. Is now verified on Twitter and has a job that’s cooler than yours.

26. Olivia: Had a really cool off campus apartment. Was always down for you to crash there.

27. Bailey: Painfully adorable. Everyone always wanted to ‘mom’ her.

28. Katherine: Was always the DD.

29. Cristina: Is a one-woman Sephora. The first person to teach you how to fill in your eyebrows properly and you’ll never be able to repay her.

30. Jessica: Was always asking you to go work out at the rec center with her but you didn’t want to feel worse about yourself so you turned her down basically every time.

31. Jess: Started a Go Fund Me to afford to go to Coachella.

32. Katie: Showed up uninvited to every event. She always managed to just show up everywhere, even though no one knew how she knew about the party or whatever.

33. Chloe: Drank a lot of green tea. Ended up transferring schools because “her heart just told her to.”

34. Kirsten: Was always correcting TAs who called her “Kristen.”

35. Kristen: Never showed up to class.

36. Lily: You guys made out once at a frat party and frankly, it was kind of fun.

37. Emily: Somehow looked hot in three day eyeliner and a dirty messy bun.

38. Callie: Had a boyfriend who stayed in her hometown and they did the long distance game. She ended up pacing outside out of parties yelling, “Don’t you TRUST me?!” into her phone a lot.

39. Nicole: Was actually one of those people who played college soccer. You never went to any of her games.

40. Lauren: Took great notes and was always down to let you copy them.

41. Allyson: Threw up in your car. Didn’t help clean it up.

42. Jenna: Was engaged for most of college but they were waiting “until graduation” to actually tie the knot.

43. Nikki: Was very prone to property damage when she was drunk.

44. Mary-Beth: Hooked up with a 40 year-old non-traditional student your Freshman year and swore everyone to secrecy about it despite getting instantly dickmatized.

45. Amy: You always kind of forgot about Amy, and then after hanging out with her would look at your best friend and be like, “She’s so fun, why don’t we hang out with her more often?!” but then would never text her. And so the cycle would continue.

46. Melissa: Was really, really concerned with being interesting but tragically was not really all that interesting.

47. Shelby: Incomparably cool. You befriended her in an effort to keep her on your side because otherwise, you would have become enemies and you would have LOST.

48. Erin: You’re pretty prepared for the day when Erin ends up interviewing you for a job because she was always kind of a boss.

49. Jaqueline: Spent a solid 63% of her time in the library. She would have handwritten her papers if the profs would’ve allowed it.

50. Laura: Was really into bizarre things like German club and Fencing and you never fully got why.

51. Brianna: Never failed to show up with at least 3 bottles of something to every house party.

52. Quinn: Was really cool about it when you ended up dating her ex.

53. Jenn: Played Rugby. Was incredibly hardcore about it. She’s the girl who tried to break a Nalgene to see if it was actually possible and then DID it.

54. Alex: Was always trying to explain to you about sexual fluidity at really inopportune times.

55. Alexandra: Worked some sort of waitress job and didn’t bat an eye about letting you eat there for free when you were embarrassingly broke.

56. Marisa: Was always mediating a fight between SOMEONE.

57. Audrey: Tried stripping at amateur night once when she was little past buzzed. It didn’t go great.

58. Zoey: Cut bangs every Fall and then whined about them growing out all Summer only to do it again come September.

59. Molly: Ridiciulously cool. Introduced you to a lot of your now favorite music and somehow always had tickets to EVERYTHING.

60. Claire: You knew she hated you. Your boyfriend knew she hated you. The professors knew she hated you. The bartender at the bar everyone went to knew she hated you. (Claire really, really hated you.)

61. Abby: Was dead-set on finding a husband by graduation.

62. Courtney: Was only your friend when you had something she wanted. Like Adderall. Or your best guy-friend.

63. Tina: Full of good advice. She was (and is) your go-to for a tough love pep talk.

64. Jillian: Had the craziest stories and will very likely have a best-selling memoir one day.

65. Kimberly: Was pre-accepted to a graduate program and it was all she could talk about.

66. Kim: Didn’t judge you for drinking on Mondays because she was right there next to you.

67. Lizzie: Let you drink underage at her house all the time and hid you in a closet once when the cops came.

68. Kasey: Used to protest all the time and you always felt guilty for being too lazy to go with her.

69. Shannon: Would never stfu about how she was accepted at Yale but didn’t go so she could have a “normal college experience.”

70. Holly: Had no problem with it when you asked her to check if something was an STD or an ingrown hair.

71. Kara: Always made sure whoever was too drunk was sleeping on their side and had water and aspirin by their bed for the next morning. Aka: an actual angel.

72. Amanda: Judged everyone for all of their stupid mistakes, but then got an MIP for blowing over due to too much mouthwash (and superiority).

73. Chrissy: Was smarter than your teachers but didn’t really have to try. She knew it. They knew it. It was fine.

74. Lucy: Cooler than you. Still is.

75. Shawna: Didn’t drink or do drugs but was always still at EVERY rave or whatever because “she just really loves dancing!!!!”

76. Leah: Had a dog. Let you puppy-sit.

77. Ali: Taught you how to make a Slut Bag for the nights when you wanted to go out and get some.

78. Ashley: Frequently would prove that she could still do the splits in the hallway/doorways of the dorms. Didn’t realize no one cared.

79. Anna: Graduated early. You never heard from her again.

80. Maria: Got incredibly socially conscious after graduation and now constantly posts things on Instagram about global warming, the patriarchy, and animal rights. You ignore a lot of the Change.org things she tags you in.

81. Izzy: Total lightweight. Slept in your bathroom a lot (aka: anytime she drank).

82. Destiny: Probably voted for Trump. Thought Catalog Logo Mark

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Kendra Syrdal


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