The other day at a party, a white girl drunkenly called me “Nora” for several minutes before she realized that Nora, the only other Asian person present, was actually on the other side of the room.
When we forget a name, we are admitting to a lack of interest in the person, on some level.
Courtney: Was only your friend when you had something she wanted. Like Adderall. Or your best guy-friend.
Nikita: short hair, thin, can wear a training bra beneath her wedding dress.
Vivian: Will spill wine on your white dress and pretend that it was an accident.
Chef: Has great weed. Has even better munchies.
Charlotte: Stole your boyfriend, doesn’t care.
Michael: Made a big statement by going from Mike to Michael when he came out. Incidentally, so did every other Mike.
Spencer: Went surfing once, puts the surfer guy emoji next to his name when he puts his name into your phone.
Because you feel threatened by my presence, I’m a bitch.