Here’s Exactly What Would Happen To You In A Horror Movie, Based On Your College Major

Scream Queens
Scream Queens

English

An English major is not going to survive a horror movie. They’re the beta male/female that’s there to invoke sympathy from the audience and a beautiful piano ballad will serenade their slow and untimely death where they encourage another character to survive with their dying breath. A silhouette of them will appear after the survivors make it to the end and everyone will be sad again.

Philosophy

A philosophy major will probably survive a horror movie, but not because of their own resourcefulness. They’re the snarky, almost asshole-esque friend who everyone loves to roll their eyes with/at, but is such a fan favorite they have to survive. They cling to the protagonist like velcro and because of that camaraderie, survive.

Health Sciences

A health sciences major is going to end up the victim of “friendly” fire, due to the survivors of the movie ASSUMING they are the killer. They’re the character who’s kind of creepy and hard to read, so it would make sense that they’d be the villain, but in reality they’re just a weirdo. They end up the victim of the group’s elaborate scheme to off them, even though they were just living their weirdo life and not doing anything terrible.

Communications

The communications major is the hot girl or guy who is just there because sex sells, and hot people dying is great for the movie trailer. They will probably be murdered in a shower, on a beach/around a pool, or post sex scene to capitalize on their bangin’ bod.

Marketing/Business

The business and marketing major is the tough guy of the movie who tries to instigate something in order to “fight” the villain/killer/whatever is after them. They’re the character that has no problem bringing out the Ouija board in a confirmed haunted house, will say “Bloody Mary” into a mirror when she’s already snapped his buddy’s neck, or willingly leave the door unlocked during The Purge to try and go down swinging. They end up dead because of their own ineptitude because the first rule of the horror movie is don’t go looking for the killer, and they will not follow that.

Gender Studies

The gender studies major is the lovable nerd in the movie who no one is quite sure what they’re doing there. They’re placed there to be the voice of reason and make the protagonist of the film WANT to survive. If they live, it’s because they form an unbreakable alliance with the hero of the film and agree to bond together (seeing eye to eye) to make it out. If they die, it’s probably because they were too invested in something like having sex with another character to pay attention to their surroundings and got axed.

Computer Science

A computer science major would survive a horror movie because they’re too smart to be there in the first place. So in the unlikely scenario that they are in this predicament, they would have a logical reaction and figure out exactly what to do in order to make it out alive. The toss up is whether or not they’d share their survival tactics with their fellow characters. It’s very possible that they’d hole up and just ride it out alone, watching the other people die and just shrugging along – chalking it up to the hazard of the horror movie.

PoliSci

A political science major would be the first person to die in a horror movie. They be busy grandstanding and attempting to boss other people around, when they’re surprised by a sneak attack and killed. They have too much of an “I know what to do” attitude with none of the practicality to survive.

Psychology

The psychology major might survive a horror movie, but it’s dependent on a couple of factors. If they’re the type that’s so busy staring at everyone and trying to figure out what’s going on in their minds and worrying about their feelings, they’re going to die. They’ll be to distracted to pay attention and end up getting killed because they were in their own head and not focusing on survival. BUT if they develop a relationship with another character and bond heavily, they’ll probably be okay. The psych major will become so lovable that the other person/character will want to save them. And then they’ll end up taking the bullet/knife/axe/whatever for the psych major, sparing them and dying themselves.

Social Media

The social media major will absolutely survive, because they’re without question the protagonist of the horror movie. They’re smart enough to figure out how to make it to the end, but not so smart that they cross over into the border of anti-social. They know how to make connections so they can form a team, and they’re friendly enough that they won’t just let their fellow characters burn in order to save themselves. They’re also a little asshole-ish and RIDICULOUSLY competitive, making them the perfect protagonist for a horror movie.

Fine Arts

A fine arts major is the villain of the horror movie. They’re incredibly emotional and hotheaded, and are wildly misunderstood. But rather than having an ‘IDGAF’ attitude over being misunderstood, they want to prove everyone wrong. Plus, they have access to crazy places on college campuses (late night studios, places with kilns) and tons of atypical things that can be used as weapons. They’ll also make offing people a spectacle and incredibly entertaining, which is why they are without question the murderer.

Theatre

Everyone cheered when the theatre major (aka: the most annoying character in the damn movie) was decapitated or fell victim to an equally as ~ dramatic ~ death. Everyone. TC mark

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