13 Little Ways You Are Self-Sabotaging Your Own Life Without Even Realizing It

1. Not setting goals for yourself.

You need to have somewhere or something to aim for or you’ll never get anywhere. You’ll stay in the same town, doing the same thing, with the same people, and one day you’ll look at your life and realize that it blew past you without you even realizing it. By not setting any goals for yourself you are allowing yourself to be content in mediocrity. They can be however big (moving across the country in a year) or however small (getting to the gym one more day per week) but you need to want to do something. If you are not trying to be better you will end up being someone you are ultimately not proud of.

2. Eating “whatever” and not worrying about it.

We all love chips and cake and soda and alcohol but if you treat your body like a garbage disposal, that’s exactly how you will look and feel. If you aren’t at least conscious of what you consume, you’re heading towards a life of health problems, terrible skin, and a lot of the same lectures from your doctor. Just eat some spinach and drink some water. Your body will thank you for it.

3. Hanging onto toxic people.

This could be the partner who never offers to pay for things, the friend who is only around when they need something, or the co-worker who steals your ideas. Regardless of who they are and why they’re in your life, you need to let those people go. Hanging onto toxic, dead weight will only end up dragging you down.

4. Excusing your own bad behavior.

However, sometimes you’re the negative person. Sometimes you are condescending, or selfish, or less than your best. It happens; we all are guilty of it. But there’s a level of strength in owning when you are not the person you should be and acknowledging it. Apologize. Make it right. Ask how you can be better. Don’t be the person who brushes aside and ignores their mistakes — you’re better than that. Or at least you should be.

5. Paying your bills late.

Everyone has auto-pay these days and paying late fees and the interest that comes along with doing this is just a waste of money and stupid.

6. Not getting enough sleep.

Just because you CAN function on four hours of sleep doesn’t mean you should. And even though you think you’re “functioning” that doesn’t mean you’re doing so at the best of your ability. You’re foggy, irritable, and not the person you would be if you committed to getting on a schedule and sleeping enough. Eventually you will crash; just because it hasn’t happened yet doesn’t mean it won’t.

7. Going with the flow instead of saying what you want.

There’s something to said for being agreeable and laid back, but sometimes those qualities are your own worst enemy. Your opinions are a valid. Your needs are valid. You have the right to express them and not wanting to rock the boat isn’t a good enough reason to allow yourself to be walked all over.

8. Never asking how you can improve.

If you aren’t asking how you can be better, you’re lying to yourself about your own need to grow as a person. You should not want to live your life in a way that would only get you a proverbial participation trophy. Aim high. Dream big. Don’t settle. Live those cliché statements we always see on Pinterest and try to be the absolute best possible version of yourself that you can be.

9. Staying quiet when you’re hurt.

Sometimes you need to pick your battles and learn to let things go. But other times you are completely within your right to stand up and say, “I didn’t like that.” Your feelings are legitimate; do not ever believe otherwise. By ignoring it when you’re unhappy you are permitting your own unhappiness.

10. Never saying “thank you.”

Be grateful, be gracious. Recognize when you get to do cool things and be a part of something that other people would kill to do. Realize your blessings and be thankful for them. And say it! No one will ever be annoyed to hear, “Thank you.” We all should say it more often.

11. Comparing yourself to other people.

FOMO and jealousy are natural feelings, and we all experience them from time to time. But you can never truly know what someone’s internal struggles are. By comparing yourself to the version of them you think you know, you’re focusing on something you can really never be. It’s a waste of energy. Rather than comparing yourself to someone, you should be focusing on yourself. Focusing on what you can do for YOU, not what you wish you were.

12. Not planning even a little for the future.

There’s this odd need to “live in the now” we have these days and it’s awesome to a certain extent. But on the flip it has allowed us to live in this weird limbo where we are simultaneously complacent and stagnant. We should be thinking ahead, planning for where we want to be, and working towards that. This applies to your personal life, your professional life, and everything in between.

13. Accepting comfort instead of happiness.

Comfort isn’t happiness and happiness isn’t necessarily comfortable. If you accept comfort instead of happiness, one day you’ll wake up and wonder why you feel so discontent and bored. You should be aiming to be the most fulfilled, successful, version of yourself possible. You should want to wake up every day excited about where you are and where you’re heading. If you don’t, you’ll never be satisfied and you’ll never be where you want to be. Strive for happiness, even if it’s difficult. It’s so much better in the long run.