1. We can always take charge of situations.
Aren’t sure what restaurant you want to go to? Don’t even sweat it we have, like, sixteen suggestions and can probably rattle off the menu for each of them for you. Lost? We’ll figure out the directions and lead the way. Drama in your life? We are ready with an overflowing amount of advice, are totally willing to mediate and get everyone to a good spot. We’ve been called “natural leaders” or (gag) “bossy” our entire lives so that place is a totally comfortable one. We’ve been called a lot of things; indecisive has never been one of them.
2. We are not lying when we say “I want to hear about you.”
That story about the girl who cried on your first date or even about the time you got into an accidental bar fight over tacos? Not even a little boring, I promise! We are natural people pleasers and are really curious in general. We really just want to hear all about whatever you’re talking about. If we like you, we genuinely want to know everything about you. It can come off as a little prying sometimes, so just let us know if our question is inappropriate or something you don’t want to talk about. I’m sure we’ll be able to change the subject.
3. You don’t need to think the worst because we have already thought of something 100 times more horrible.
We are high-strung, emotional people with crazy, overactive imaginations. In situations where others are at a 6/7 we are probably at a 12. I have come close to calling my roommate’s mother because I had convinced myself that an hour and a half was too long for him to be out without checking in and that he must have driven off of the highway and died. He was fine, just rocking out to Jessie J, but my point being: we over-think to the point of (mild) hysteria. There will probably be some talking off of ledges instances in our future.
4. We have analyzed every text you’ve sent us down to the sequence of the emojis you used.
“He sent me an eggplant…is that because there’s no penis emoji? I think that was supposed to be a sext and I’m not sure how to take it,” is a real-life sentence I have said.
We have a really hard time taking things at face value and are almost constantly reading between the lines…whether we should or not. Once we figure you out it won’t be as bad but, initially, and even for a while after, we’re most likely searching for some sort of hidden meaning in everything. Sometimes an eggplant is just an eggplant…but we’ll look at it and see a penis.
5. We may love people but that doesn’t mean we’re flirting with everyone.
I can make friends with anyone. The bartender, the guy next to me on a plane, the Uber driver, a fellow commuter at the bus stop. I love talking to people, hearing their stories. But just because I have Jon with no “h” talking to me at his bar rail about how he learned to swim by his uncle just throwing him into the lake doesn’t mean I want to sleep with him. ENFPs are generally magnets for other people; this should be seen as a good thing because you will never be hurting for new friends or conversation. It’s not a threat.
6. We’re natural entertainers and will always gravitate towards the spotlight.
Whether it’s just being the center of attention with crazy stories at a dinner or clawing our way on stage for yet another song at karaoke, we love every second of being the center of attention. Sometimes, admittedly, it can become a little bit of a character that we have trouble turning off but rest assured we’re aware and are trying to realize when we’re putting on a show! It’s just really fun to belt out Whitney Houston (RIP girl) when you know you can rock it. And it’s really cute when we can tell you’re into it too.
7. We dream big, and that applies to everything.
We not only hold ourselves to an extremely high standard, we tend to do the same for others. While we’re totally happy staying home watching Netflix and eating pizza, we’re also way into big, dramatic gestures. If you tell an ENFP you’ve made plans, they’re not-so-secretly hoping for something that blows them away. No pressure…
8. Following through is huge for us.
I can’t think of anything I hate more than when I think something is going to happen, I gear up and get excited, and then it falls through. This is true of almost all of the ENFPs that I know. While we don’t totally have our heads just in the clouds and we understand that life happens, it’s always incredibly disappointing. We’re idealists; we get excited! Do your best to not crush us.
9. We hold onto things, figuratively and literally.
We are the living embodiment of “forgive but don’t forget.” We remember everything, and unfortunately they’re usually the bad things. This can make us apprehensive about going into situations that have ended badly before and it can make us hard to win our trust back once broken. While we’re typically sunny, bright eyed optimists that doesn’t mean we don’t have something in the back of our mind that we think back to.
10. We don’t actually wear our hearts on our sleeves.
Shocking, I know! Being highly emotional, loud little roller coasters you’d think it’d be easy to get to know us but nope. We’re the weirdest mix of super private and an open book that you’ll ever meet. We can be kind of difficult to figure out because we’re always more focused on other people. But once you get to know us, it’s totally worth it.
11. We’re a lot of fun in bed.
No other way to put it, but we’re a blast in the sack. We’re people pleasers — what more do you need to know?! We’re super creative, very attentive, really giving, and are excellent communicators. We are going to make sure you feel taken care of, we will cover all of the bases (even some you didn’t even know existed) and are pretty much down for whatever. Let me reiterate: REALLY giving. You’re welcome, champ.
12. We have trouble asking for help.
We are used to taking care of ourselves and being the fixer so when we find ourselves on the opposite end of things it can be disorienting. Sometimes we need to be taken care of…but we’ll never ask you to do it. This is where you’ll need to be the observant one, just step in and don’t let us fight you on it — because we will try to. Take care of us and when it’s our turn to do the same we’ll be there in a second.
13. We are willing to work almost anything out.
We aren’t going to be the one bolting at the first sign of trouble. We are willing to talk anything out and really work to make our relationships stronger and better. Once we’re committed, we’re in it for the long haul, and we aren’t going anywhere. This means every disagreement is going to be discussed and we’re never going to let you go to bed angry. We aren’t afraid of confrontation, which means you don’t get to be either.
14. Balance is key.
We’re best suited with someone a little more introverted, someone who is willing to take a step back and let us be the crazy one. But really, as long as we don’t feel bored or smothered by our partner, anything is possible. Take us out dancing all night one night and then stay in with a 30 Rock marathon on the next. Variety is the spice of life.
And recognize that we are always going to talk during movies. We’re sorry in advance.