250+ Must-Ask Conversation Starters for Couples

These conversation starters for couples are perfect for being used on a first date or to spice up a date night with a long-term boyfriend or girlfriend.

By Katee Fletcher

Updated 8 months ago, May 6, 2024

Even if you are in a long-term relationship, trying to get to know someone better can be tricky if you’re unsure what to ask. These conversation starters for couples are perfect for being used on a first date or to spice up a date night with a long-term boyfriend or girlfriend. Look over the list below to get an idea of what to ask your partner!

Getting to Know You Questions

These questions are perfect for the first few dates when you are just getting to know someone. Small talk is difficult when you barely know someone, so browse the list below to find a great conversation starter to kick off the night with!

What is your dream job?
Where did you grow up?
What’s your favorite thing about where you grew up?
What’s your biggest pet peeve?
Who is your biggest role model?
Who is your celebrity crush?
What’s your favorite meal, and why?
What kind of music do you listen to?
Who is your favorite band or artist?
Do you like to read? If so, what are your favorite books to read?
What is your favorite book?
What’s your favorite movie?
What kinds of movies do you like to watch?
What’s your biggest fear?
Who performed at the first concert you ever went to?
What television show could you not live without?
Do you like sports? If so, what are your favorite teams?
Do you believe in ghosts?
What would your last meal be if you had to pick?
The beach or the mountains? Why?
What song do you love to belt out in the car?
What was your favorite subject in school when you were growing up?
Describe your perfect date.
Which celebrity would star as you in the movie of your life?
What’s one of the biggest challenges you’ve faced so far in life?
What’s your family like? Do you have any siblings?
Have you ever played an instrument? If so, what was it?
What’s the best piece of advice you’ve ever received?
Who has impacted you the most thus far in life?
If you could go back in time, which decade would you visit?
What’s been your favorite year of life thus far? Why?
Where is the coolest place you’ve ever traveled to?
What country or destination is on your travel bucket list?
Are you superstitious?
What qualities do you find attractive in someone?
Tell me something that most people don’t know about you?
Sweet snacks or salty snacks?
What’s your favorite flavor of ice cream?
What was your first job?
When’s your birthday?
What’s your astrological sign?
What’s a unique wish you have on your bucket list?
What’s your guilty pleasure?
Did you play sports when you were a kid? Which one(s)?
What kind of business would you open if you could?
What do you love to do to unwind at the end of the day?
What’s your favorite quote?
Are you a dog or a cat person?
What skill would you love to learn if you had the time or money to?
What do you wish you were better at?
What three words best describe you and your personality?
What’s your favorite nickname you’ve ever had?
If you were a character in any movie or TV show, who would you be?
What’s your favorite store to shop at?
What color do you think you look best in?
What did you think was cool to do when you were younger that isn’t cool now?
If you could have your own reality TV show, what would it be called?
What’s your favorite drink to order?
Coffee or tea?
What’s your favorite scent?
What’s your favorite season?
Who is your best friend, and how long have you known them?
Tell me about your first heartbreak.
Are you more of an introvert or extrovert?
Who did you feel close to as a kid, your mother, or your father?
Name a bad habit that you were eventually able to kick?
What’s your favorite holiday? Why?
Which U.S. state do you most want to visit and why?
What’s worse, a person with no drive or a person who is a workaholic?
If you won the lottery, what’s the first thing you would spend your money on?
What does success look like to you?
Do you play video games?
What’s your favorite video game?
What was your favorite cartoon growing up?
What’s your favorite kind of food to eat?
Do you enjoy trying new foods?

Deep Conversation Starters for Couples

Once you’re past the surface level, it’s good to ask some deep questions that hopefully lead to a more meaningful conversation. Look through the list of deep conversation topics to find a question or few that work for you!

Do you believe that there’s an afterlife?
If you could change one thing about your childhood, what would you choose?
If you could change one thing about today’s world, what would it be?
What legacy do you want to leave behind when you’re gone?
What do you feel your greatest achievement is and why?
What was your biggest failure?
What’s your favorite thing about yourself?
Who do you feel you’re closest to and why?
What was one of the happiest moments of your life?
What was the hardest thing you feel you’ve been through?
Are you doing everything in your power to live your happiest life? If not, what things about your daily life would you change to achieve that?
Who was your first love?
How do you think your past relationships have helped you to grow and find a better partner?
What makes you the most stressed, and why?
Where do you see yourself in 5 years?
Do you want to have a wedding or do you want to elope? Why?
What is holding you back from being the person you want to be?
What’s the best way to raise a child?
Are you an organ donor? Why or why not?
What would you want to accomplish in life if you could only accomplish one thing?
What’s a deal-breaker for you in a relationship? Why?
What’s your biggest regret?
When was the last time you cried? What was it about?
What inspires you to get out of bed every morning?
What do you feel your purpose is in life?
What’s the biggest mistake you made growing up?
Do you believe in second chances? Why or why not?
What cause do you feel extremely drawn to? Why?
If you could give advice to your younger self, what would it be?
What are some issues you think future generations will face?

Relationship Conversation Starters

Once you’re in a relationship, you may find that you and your spouse or partner may fall into a lull every once in a while. Continuing to ask questions about the other’s interests and how you can make them feel loved creates better conversations for both of you and an overall happier relationship or marriage. Look through the list below to find great questions that lead to a lasting relationship!

How can I help you feel more appreciated?
What’s your favorite thing about me?
What do I do that irritates you?
What do you worry about most in our relationship?
Where do you see us being in 5 years?
Do you ever get jealous?
What’s the best gift I could give to you?
What’s your favorite memory of us?
Which of our marriage vows do you think is the most important?
What qualities or aspects do you think contribute to a successful relationship?
Do you know of a couple that you look up to due to their successful relationship?
What new hobbies or activities would you like to try together?
What’s a date that you’ve always wanted to do together?
What should be talked about before a couple gets married?
What’s your favorite way that we spend time together?
In which ways do you think we balance each other out?
How can we improve our communication? What is working for us?
What’s something you couldn’t forgive if done in our relationship?
What is the most difficult aspect of being in a relationship?
What’s something small that each of us could work on daily to make each other happy?
What’s your favorite date we’ve ever been on together?
What was your first impression of me?
What core values do you think we have in common?
Where should our next vacation be together?
Where should we retire?
What children’s names do you like?
Should we get an animal together?
How many children do you want to have?
How has/will having children affect our life as a married couple?
What would you change about our relationship?
Do you agree with living with someone before marriage?
How can I help calm you down when you’re mad or upset?
How can we continue to make each other happy for the rest of our lives?
What change have you seen in yourself after being in a relationship with me?
If we were ever about to break-up or end things, would you try to get me back?
What attracted you to me?
What’s your opinion on equality in a relationship?
How important is it to you to maintain individuality within a relationship?
What’s one thing you would never change about me?
Do you believe that emotional cheating is something to be concerned over?
How should we keep the romance alive in our relationship?
When we’re apart, what do you miss about me the most?
Would you be willing to do long-distance ever?
What makes me a great partner?
What makes you a great partner?
Would you enjoy getting a couples massage?
Would you enjoy doing a couples class together? What would you want it to be?
If we have children, what would you want them to learn from me, and what would you want them to learn from you?
What physical feature do you find the most attractive in me?
How do you think your life would be different if we never met?
What’s the most romantic thing I have ever done for you?
Do we have a song? What is it?
What is the best part of being in a relationship?
What about our relationship sets us apart from other relationships?
Do you remember our very first date? Were you nervous?

Fun Conversation Starters

These silly questions are great to ask on a date night with your loved one. Loosen up, have a good conversation, and enjoy one another’s company!

How old were you when you had your first kiss?
Tell me about your first crush.
How old were you when you lost your virginity?
What song always makes you think of me?
If the world was ending, what’s the first thing you would do?
If you could have any superpower, what would it be and why?
Toilet paper, over or under?
Do you like pineapple on pizza?
If you were apart of the circus, what would your job be?
What’s your spirit animal, and why?
What’s your most useless talent?
Tell me your best pickup line.
Tell me about your very first date.
What would you bring to an adult show and tell? Why?
If you had to be a condiment for the rest of your life, what would it be and why?
What’s your favorite snack?
What food do you find inedible?
Do you believe in love at first sight?
What’s your favorite animal?
What’s your lucky number?
Do you believe people can be friends with benefits without developing a romantic attachment?
What’s your favorite meal of the day? Breakfast, lunch, or dinner?
Do you dream?
What’s the craziest dream you’ve ever had?
What’s your favorite tradition?
What’s your dream honeymoon destination?
What’s the worst advice you’ve ever taken?
If we were to have a movie marathon, which movies would you pick?
If you had to listen to five albums for the rest of your life, what would they be?
If you had to pick a person to be stuck on a deserted island with (other than me), who would it be?
Would you rather pick rainbow sprinkles or chocolate sprinkles?
What’s a conspiracy theory you secretly believe in?
What’s the worst job you’ve ever had?
What’s the strangest thing you’ve ever seen while driving?
Which celebrity would you love to spend the day with?

Sexy Conversation Starters

These flirty conversation starters about sex are sure to spice up your sex life. Browse the list below to find some questions to ask your partner about their bedroom preferences and bring some more intimacy into your relationship.

Where’s the craziest place you’ve ever had sex?
What’s a sex fantasy you have yet to live out?
What’s your favorite position to do in bed?
Are you a fan of shower sex?
How important is sex in a relationship?
What’s the craziest sexual experience you’ve ever had?
Have you ever had a one night stand?
When am I my sexiest?
What’s your favorite thing I do in bed?
What can I do more to make you horny?
What do I do casually that turns you on?
What’s the most embarrassing thing that’s happened to you while having sex?
Do you like sending/receiving nudes?
Do you masturbate?
Do you like watching porn?
Have you ever had a dream about me? What was it about?
Do you enjoy being the big spoon or little spoon more?
Do you enjoy cuddling?
Do you have any secret fetishes?
What do you do that makes you feel sexy?
Have you ever been skinny dipping?
Have you ever been to a strip club?
Have you ever had a lap dance?
Do you own lingerie?
A fun question is, what’s the craziest position you’ve ever done?

Date Idea Conversation Starters

Your spouse or partner is a unique person with a ton of interesting pastimes. These conversation starters are great for learning what your partner’s interests are, which is a great conversation topic and perfect for planning some dates you’ll both enjoy! Whether you’re looking for an excellent Valentine’s day date, an anniversary night, or just a fun night on the town, these questions have got you covered!

What kind of outdoor activities do you enjoy?
Do you like to camp?
Do you enjoy exercising?
What kind of exercises do you enjoy?
Have you ever been skiing or snowboarding?
Do you enjoy road tripping?
Do you like going to the fair or an amusement park?
Do you enjoy group dates or double dates?
Do you like to drink? If so, what is your drink of choice?
Would you rather go to a fun club or a chill speakeasy bar for a date night?
What kind of restaurants do you enjoy going to? Fine dining or casual?
Do you like going to the movies?
Do you enjoy going to see performances?
What kinds of performances have you been to in the past?
Do you enjoy going to the theater and seeing a play?
Would you enjoy going to a cooking class?
Have you ever done a wine and paint night?
What are your favorite board games to play?
Does a date night in appeal to you?
Do you enjoy shopping?
What kinds of things do you enjoy shopping for?
Do you like to build things?
Do you craft?
Do you enjoy spending the day at the beach?
Do you enjoy spending time in a city?
Do you like antiquing?
Do you go to concerts often?
What concert have you been dying to go to?
Have you ever been to a comedy show?
Would you enjoy going to an arcade one night?
Do you celebrate Valentine’s Day?

Other Conversation Starter Sources

If you want to spice things up even more, check out games like Table Topics that acts as a handy tabletop resource full of fun conversation starters for an engaging night. Other great sources to look at are books such as the bestselling book, 101 Conversation Starters for Couples written by marriage counselor Gary Chapman and therapist Ramon Presson. Gary Chapman also invented a fun test called the 5 Love Languages that helps you and your loved one discover your love language; how you love and enjoy being loved. Ramon Presson is equally impressive as he is the founder of LifeChange Counseling and Marriage Center and has been assisting couples through marital therapy for over 30 years. Their book, along with their fun conversation cards, are perfect for prompting 101 probing questions that will provide you with amazing insights on your spouse and your relationship. Not to mention, they’re perfect for setting on any dinner table for any intimate nighttime talk!