Thought Catalog

Everything Your Extroverted Friends Want You To Know (But Will Probably Never Tell You)

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1. We are NOT hitting on you. Chill out.

The great thing about being extroverted is that we really do like to socialize with everybody. The not so great (or maybe also really great) part about being extroverted is that we don’t take gender into account.

Basically, if we ask if anyone is sitting next to you, we aren’t doing that coy flirtatious bit. We just want to sit down. Or, if you down your last sip of {insert age appropriate drink here}, buying you a refill doesn’t mean we’re trying to date you. We just have good manners. (Oh, stawp!) And last but not least, if we ask for your name, we are not hitting on you. Believe me, you’ll know when we hit on you. And you will like it.

It hurts our feelings when we get in trouble for being disrespectful of romantic boundaries that aren’t even on our radar. We’re totally fine if you’re in a relationship, we just got bored and wanted to talk to somebody. Don’t get mad at us! Enjoy our gregarious nature and be open to the possibility that you might be making the coolest friend ever! (ME!)

2. We don’t always want to talk.

Being extroverted doesn’t necessarily mean talking all the time.

A lot of us prefer observing or taking in information instead of gabbing to our neighbors. Extroverts by definition get a spike in energy from being around others–and that can come in many different forms. We like to be in packed restaurants on quiet dates, crowded parties while people watching, and busy work spaces for observing successful mentors. Talking isn’t always required, even if it’s always expected.

No. I’m just doing something else other than entertaining you.

My favorite example lies in one of my most extroverted friends. She continuously goes to a 7 a.m. breakfast club even though she can’t formulate words before 10 a.m. So…why does she go? Networking, learning, being around other humans…ya know. Luckily, her friends are ok with her listening and chugging coffee.

3. Sometimes we word vomit.

So…sometimes…we do like to talk. And when that happens, we occasionally blurt stuff out. The wrong stuff. And we’re really sorry. It’s not like we sat there for five minutes carefully selecting every word we threw out of our mouths. Believe me, if that were the case, we’d become about as efficient as Kevin.

Don’t take it personally. If we accidentally hurt your feelings, please, please, PLEASE be quick to forgive. What we lack in cautious conversation we totally make up for in and party invites & good moods.

4. We’re not clingy, we just don’t like being alone.

{Begin rant}

Ok, no more name calling, guys. Just because we actually take initiative to call our friends on Sunday nights doesn’t mean we are desperate. Maybe not everybody wants to come over and watch Game of Thrones, but admit it: it’s way more fun to watch it with other GOT nerds. I mean, who else is going to provide a night full of evil fantasy bliss topped off with Red and Blood (Ginger)Ale? Your friendly neighborhood Extrovert. That’s who. So let’s dispose of that ugly label just because we’re planning your social agenda. YOU’RE WELCOME IN ADVANCE.

{End rant}.

5. We are people pleasers.

We know that you feel awkward around so-and-so and it’s unfortunate that you and what’s-her-face don’t quite get along…but you’ll live. We like to include everyone! The more, the merrier. Social discord isn’t our thing, and we don’t want to be in the middle of it. Yes, we have the gift of gab, but we also have the gift of getting along with a lot of people. Our energy comes from being around others. It’s only natural that we would see the good in them and want them around! So…if we have any contact with anyone in the whole wide world, they’re probably getting an invite to tonight’s plans.

You’ll have to get over the fact that so-and-so and what’s-her-face will probably be there. If you want to leave others out, then you have a party. It just won’t be as fun as ours.

6. Please stop calling us bossy.

Shoutout to the ladies out there who totally get where our homegirl Sandberg is coming from. Hashtag banbossy. We have ALL been called bossy at one point or another. I mean, at this point I can’t even stand Kelis, and it really isn’t even her fault. And the worst part is, there’s nothing to be ashamed of! We’re loud, we’re proud, but mostly, we’re dang good at getting stuff done. Like, just because Introverts won’t speak up during group projects doesn’t mean we’re bossy. Or…maybe we are bossy. Whatever. I think we’re just AWESOME. Ok, so what’s the take home message? Only WE can call ourselves bossy. Deal.

7. You’re not deeper than us just because you’re introverted.

Just because we’re not Introverted doesn’t mean we’re not intellectual or mature. We just have different skill sets. Introverts might typically be better writers, designers, or analysts, but Extroverts can execute. We are the leaders, the CEOs, and the advocates. We get out there and make things happen. You know, we get stuff done.

Naturally there are times when we yearn for the ability to sit at home and just write up that report–but we would rather be in the meeting hashing out the terms. For instance, an Introvert is ghost writing this blog because the Extrovert is running around town doing things. Does that sound like a dumb person to you? Negative, Ghost-writer. (Get it?)

Instead of trying to get us to be something we’re not, let us do what we’re awesome at: getting people together. And we’ll even sing while doing it.

Remember, we don’t care if you’re Introverted or Extroverted, we just care that you’re reading this. Seriously. TC mark

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