1. Why are there no planes where Peter Pan lives?
Because there is a sign that says, “Never Neverland.”
2. What did Snow White say when her photos weren’t ready yet?
Someday my prints will come…
3. Why was Tigger in the bathroom for so long?
Because he had Pooh stuck inside him.
4. Why did Mickey Mouse get hit with a snowball?
Because Donald ducked.
5. Why did Snow White get kicked out of Disneyland?
She sat on Pinocchio’s face and said, “Lie to me. Lie to me.”
6. How did Minnie save Mickey from drowning?
Mouse to mouse resuscitation.
7. Which Disney character can count the highest?
Buzz Lightyear – he can count to infinity and beyond.
8. Why would Snow White make a good judge?
Because she’s the fairest one of all.
9. Why does Ariel wear sea shells?
Because D shells are too big and B shells are too small.
10. Why did the seven dwarves go to jail?
They sold all there gems for hi-hoes!
11. Why was Cinderella kicked off the soccer team?
Because she always ran away from the ball.
12. Why can’t Miss Piggy count to one hundred?
Because every time she gets to sixty nine she gets a frog in her throat.
13. Is your name Winnie?
Because I want to stick it in your pooh!
14. What is Captain Jack Sparrow’s favorite restaurant?
Arrrgh-by’s.
15. Why was Cinderella bad at baseball?
Because she had a pumpkin for a coach.
16. What did Genie say to Aladdin?
Rub me three times and I will come.
17. What do Viagra and Disney Land have in common?
They both cause you to stand around for an hour waiting for a two minute ride.
18. What’s the Cheshire Cat’s favorite drink?
Evaporated Milk.
19. Which Disney Princess is a cow’s favorite?
Mulan.
20. What does Mickey use to browse the web?
An iPad Minnie.
21. What did the 101 Dalmatians say after eating dinner?
That hit the spot.
22. Who’s the funniest Disney princess?
RaPUNzel.
23. Who’s the smartest Disney character?
Gaston – he won the no Belle prize.
24. What did Cinderella say to her prince?
“Want to see if it fits?”
25. What do you call a stupid Disney character?
Dumbo.
26. What happens when Olaf throws a temper tantrum?
He has a meltdown.
27. Why was Anger so furious?
Because Sadness touched one of his balls.
28. What is Tarzan’s favorite Christmas Carol?
Jungle Bells.
29. Why did Mickey go to outer space?
To find Pluto.
30. What does EPCOT stand for?
Every person comes out tired.
31. What does MGM stand for?
Mickey’s got money.
32. How much did it cost Captain Jack Sparrow to have his ears pierced?
A buck an ear.
33. Why doesn’t Eeyore have any friends?
Because he plays with Pooh all day.
34. What is Grumpy’s favorite fruit?
Sour grapes.
35. Why does Alice ask so many questions?
Because she’s in Wonderland.
36. Why didn’t Anna and Elsa’s parents teach them the whole alphabet?
Because they got lost at C.
37. What kind of car does Luke Skywalker drive?
A Toy-Yoda.
38. What does Ariel like on her toast?
Mermalade.
39. What kind of fairy doesn’t take a bath?
Stinkerbell.
40. Why did Jack Sparrow take his mother to the movie theater with him?
41. How did Mickey feel when he first saw Minnie?
42. Why did Mickey Mouse cross the road?
He was going on a Minnie vacation.
43. What do you get when you cross Pooh and a skunk?
Winnie the P.U.
44. Why was Tigger in the toilet?
He was looking for Pooh.
45. Why did Dopey take a box of crayons with him into the bedroom?
Snow White asked him to draw the curtains.
46. What is Mickey Mouse’s favorite sport?
Minnie-golf.
47. What’s Peter Pan’s favorite restaurant?
Wendys.
48. What did the Daisy Duck say when she bought lipstick?
Put it on my bill.
49. What did Cinderella do when she got to the ball?
She gagged.
50. Why can’t you give Elsa a balloon?
Because she will let it go. 
