January Nelson

To be frank, I’d have to change my name.

“Who cares if you don’t have your first kiss until you’re 21? Stop putting so much pressure on yourself in life and in school. Take it easy, kiddo.”

If you don’t have to force a smile while talking to them. The conversation is natural so it makes you smile.

Stabbed herself in the leg, blamed me, and got my ass whopped by her dad.

Don’t let compliments get to your head and don’t let insults get to your heart.

Realizing I can unlock my own door to go outside. Took me a while to realize that my roommates didn’t have to unlock it to let me out.

They keep stressing that the syllabus could change at any time and that you should check blackboard for updates. Usually means they just threw together a syllabus to appease their department head and knows they won’t be able to actually follow it.

When she gets upset, tell her she’s “being extra.” Side note: it just means you’re overreacting, which she will do after about 2 or 3 of these terms.

“Jayme Closs. 13 year old girl disappears off the face of the planet in the 4 minutes it takes the police to respond to a 911 call from the mother’s cellphone. When they get to the house, mom and dad have been shot dead, dad dying as he opens the door. No sign of assailants or Jayme.”

I asked and his reply was, “It’s your funeral.”

Don’t be offended if they cancel plans at the last minute.

Going through the drive through just to park and eat alone in my car.

I love him more than I feel like I would a normal brother in law because he is a carbon copy of my husband. But I have no romantic feelings towards him whatsoever. Their personalities are polar opposites and I could never be attracted to him sexually or anything.

All things must come to an end. Whatever this is must also come to an end. Enjoy your life.

You were assigned to read a book prior to the wedding and were sat with people who read that same book to create conversation. Interesting idea, but a majority of people aren’t going to do it.

There was a couple at my work having drinks, girl went to the toilet, came back and admitted that she’d been sleeping with the guy’s brother. Apparently glasses were thrown across the room and they both got kicked out.

When we went to the supermarket to shop for groceries for the first time. It wasn’t anything big or exciting, but we still had the nicest time together. It was so easy to see magic even in the mundane.

Amy Schumer did one of those “tell me something I don’t know” tweets. I was one of the first to reply “comedy”. Annndddd blocked.