These 50 Little Things Are Not Actually Nice, They're Annoying 

These 50 Little Things Are Not Actually Nice, They’re Annoying 

Ask Reddit knows that sometimes being nice can backfire.

1. When people feel compelled to eat with me if I’m eating alone. Where did this notion come from that it’s sad to eat alone? I like it, it’s peaceful.

2. Trying to make me do “fun” things I don’t want to do. No, I’m not desperate for someone to drag me out of my shell, I just fucking hate karaoke.

3. I absolutely hate being asked “how was your weekend” every single Monday in the office for the rest of eternity.

4. People telling me to stop apologizing. Okay, great, now I feel bad for apologizing too.

5. “Would you like some ‘insert random food or drink?””

“No I am good, but thank you.”

“No here take it.”

“No I really don’t want it.”

“Come on just take it.”

If I don’t want any don’t force me, it isn’t a nice gesture once you start hounding me about it.

6 When you’ve just gone through a rough time and people try consoling/one-upping you by telling their hardship story.

Let me wallow in my own misery please.

7. Not telling me something to protect me. Drives me crazy.

8. Hand on my back as a stranger man passes by me/ ushers me through the door.

9. When I’m stuttering and someone says “take your time.” It puts more stress on me to complete the sentence and makes me stutter even more.

10. “Sympathetic” Valentine’s Day cards. The only thing worse than knowing that no-one is attracted to me is knowing that someone pities me. Not having anyone be attracted to me is fairly easy to live with. Being pitied puts a dent my self-pride.

11. A random stranger telling me to smile. Like what am I, window dressing for your world? I have RBF even when I’m in a good mood, but the easier way to irritate me is to tell me “Hey, smile.” Like I don’t know you and fuck off, you don’t know what’s going on in my life.

12. When someone – especially a stranger – winks at me, expecting that I’ll know the “intent” behind the wink and respond accordingly.

13. When you’re doing something really badly cause it’s your first time or you’re rusty or whatever and friends start cheering you on like you’re a fucking baby. Makes me feel stupid as hell

No I’m not “doing it well” and I absolutely should not “keep it up”, I’m doing fucking horrible and that’s fine. It’s like they think I’m gonna get sad if they dont pretend that Im not dead weight on our football match

14. Buying things for me when I’ve told you no. It makes me uncomfortable and feel like I owe you. I pay for my own food on dates. I don’t want gifts outside of holidays, unless it’s small, and even then only from my SO or parents.

15. Strangers giving “helpful” advice about pregnancy or parenting. Especially if it’s crazy. Did you guys know it’s super dangerous to take your baby outside your house for the first four months? Because some weirdo at the mall was very surprised I didn’t already know this.

16. Being called sweetie, sweetheart, hun, darlin or anything similar when I DON’T KNOW YOU. I definitely don’t know you like that.

It’s worse from a professional (especially a doctor) because it feels patronizing rather than kindness/endearment.

17. Offering to help clean up the kitchen at the end of the night. I’m tired and I want you to go home so I can decompress. I’ll clean it up myself.’ll just fuck shit up.

18. When people that try to get too involved in your business.

It’s fine to care, but some people take things overboard. Like that person that finds out you’re single and then tries to set you up with people even though you don’t want to be in a relationship.

Or say it’s your birthday and you just want to have a quiet night in and they make a huge deal about it and say stuff like, “I won’t have it, I’ll take you out to celebrate and we can invite other people. It’ll be a lot more fun than that!”

19. Donating to charity and posting it to social media. You’re not really being charitable, you’re just boosting your ego.

20. When people ask if I’m ok, smack dab in the middle of a coughing or choking on water fit. You can keep asking me but I can’t answer until I can breathe again!

21. Kneeling / sitting to look at me eye level, just stand up, it’s fine.

22. Making me food without asking. I may not be hungry or may not like what you’ve made (i hate ketchup). Ask before you prepare something more than opening a bag.

23. Those messenger messages that have a bouquet of flowers and tell me how awesome I am and to hurry up and send the same message to 10 beautiful friends and that they are waiting to get the same stupid message back from me. I don’t get the point. Maybe if you’re a shut in, I can understand. No, they deserve more credit. Shut ins can do better than THAT.

24. Any time a driver tries to wave a pedestrian across the road.

Its not up to you to tell me when it’s safe to cross, for all I know there’s another car behind you that could hit me when trying to overtake some idiot who stopped in the middle of the road

25. Letting me pick the place/time for gatherings without providing any input as to what the other person might prefer so we can all have a good time.


“I don’t care where we eat. You pick!”

Me: “Ok do you want burgers or sushi or..?”

“You pick!”

Me: “Ok. Let’s go to sushi place”

[at sushi place]

“Do you have chicken nuggets?”

26. People hugging me. For some reason I don’t like anyone, even family, touching me. I accept it cause it’s the socially acceptable thing to do.

27. When straight people proudly brag to me about how tolerant they are of gay people.

…Thanks for that, I totally don’t feel alienated now.

28. When someone says, “Everything happens for a reason.”

29. Asking how someone is when it is done wholly out of politeness and convention.

And worse, the inevitable reply of “I’m fine, thank you”, regardless of if that’s true or not.

30. Patting on the back or any gestures like that. I don’t like being touched.

31. Trying to comfort people after a death or something traumatic. 8 times out of 10 they just don’t want to talk about it and have it constantly brought it up.

32. When store associates come up to me .2 seconds after I’ve walked into the store asking if I’m finding everything okay.

33. A person holding the door open for you and you’re far away. I hate that awkward jog to the door.

34. I have a restrictive diet (by most people’s standards). I go to social events fully prepared to not be able to eat anything, and I am 100% okay with that.

People often go out of their way to accommodate me which is really nice, and I appreciate the gesture, but to be honest it just makes me feel uncomfortable and stresses me out. I’ve gone to weddings where something special was catered for me and it just draws attention to me and provokes questions from other guests. I also feel really bad when people prepare a separate dish or choose a different restaurant just for my sake. I find it really awkward because I feel like a burden and I truly have no issue with eating beforehand.

35. Clothing as a gift. Obviously it’s fine if you’re buying clothes for you own kids/grandkids but if you’re just a friend or vague relative please don’t do this. You will be very likely to get the size or style wrong and if you don’t give a gift receipt or regular receipt, when that person inevitably goes to get an exchange or return it will be very very difficult for them. I work in the kids section of a clothing store, at best it’s awkward asking them to find a date and location it was purchased at, at worst they yell at me about how rude it is to ask for it. I don’t control the store policy though and I’m doing my best to help.

36. Breaking the order of how things should move in order to give someone the ability to go first. Now you are just confusing people and wasting time.

37. When I used to work in food service I would hate it when people were overly polite. Don’t get me wrong I would 100% rather have someone who is overly polite than someone who is a dick but when we are busy and you refuse to carry on the order until we exchange greetings and you make me tell you about my day you’re just slowing us down and pissing me off. the best kind of customer for me were the people who would give no conversation, they would walk up “Hi, can I get a … please”, have their payment ready and be in and out in 2 minutes or less.

38. People taking over a task and doing it for you without request. “I didn’t ask you to scan my items in the self-checkout for me. I asked you to unfuck the scanner so I could continue with the task.”

39. Calling to ask how I am so you can gossip about me to others.

40. If you don’t merge in zipper fashion, you’re dead to us all. Letting three cars in to be polite completely disrupts the flow.

41. When you’re the quiet one in a group and somebody points out in front of everyone.

42. Holding the door for me but from the inside of the doorframe so I have to like… scoot by them butt-to-crotch style.

43. Waving me on at a stop sign when they clearly have the right of way.

44. People saying “these are about your size aren’t they?” and giving me a big bag of clothes, like yeah, thanks mum but nothing is my style and now I’m stuck with a big bag of stuff you should’ve taken to the charity shop.

45. Receiving birthday or Christmas gift from loose acquaintance, thus creating cycle of guilt or undesired effort.

46. When passengers offer to give directions and basically force others to not use the GPS, and then they don’t even give the directions properly (like they get distracted and then tell others at the last possible second to dive bomb a turn because they were in the wrong lane to begin with).

47. People being given pets as a suprise gift for Christmas or a birthday. I’m sure many of them will have a good home nonetheless, but some of them will end up in situations that are not fully thought-out with people who may not be up to the task of being a responsible pet owner because they either never had a say in it or view pets as toys.

48. When someone is walking behind me and they push the button to make the automatic door open right as I’m trying to go through it. Thanks, now I have to wait while this slow-ass door opens when I could’ve just quickly opened it myself.

49. When people try to be helpful by grabbing heavy items I’m carrying out of my arms without asking me first. I appreciate the sentiment, but it throws off the balance of all the other heavy objects in my arms.

50. Yielding in traffic when you have the right of way. Thought Catalog Logo Mark

January Nelson is a writer, editor, and dreamer. She writes about astrology, games, love, relationships, and entertainment. January graduated with an English and Literature degree from Columbia University.