8 Things Everyone In Their 20s Needs To Chill Out About

Holly Lay
Holly Lay
Look, I’m sympathetic to the fact that we all are chasing our best life. But guys, let’s just hold hands and hug this shit out. We’re making ourselves crazy. Remember when our 20s were for making bad decisions and poisoning our bodies? Now, we’re all trying to perfect our 20s. Let’s just live!

1. Travel as a means to ULTIMATE FULFILLMENT
Look, I traveled and I get it, for many it was a transformative experience, but can we all chill out on telling other people they must travel if they want to do x, y, z things? You can be happy and fulfilled and purposeful without backpacking around Europe. You can open your mind and understand that people are essentially the same (we all want to be loved) everywhere in the world without stepping on a plane. Not to be all cliche or anything, but the entirety of life is an adventure. I don’t know if you know this but you’ve never been a human being on this earth before (past lives notwithstanding, you don’t remember that shit!), so basically anything you do is an adventure. Live that up. If you want to travel, cool, do that. If you don’t, cool, find something else that makes you feel alive.

2. Telling each other what we think they should do
Thanks to the Internet, we can all give each other advice on what we think we should be doing. There’s absolutely nothing you should do by the time you are any age that you are about to be. NOTHING! You are obligated to do nothing on this planet except exist. Our ages are completely arbitrary. Let’s all start sharing experiences and what we’ve learned from those experiences, rather than shaming each other into having lives we think we should have, when really, the only thing that matters is if you like your life. That’s it. Nothing else matters!

3. Trying to decide if you’re an introvert or an extrovert
I want to let you know that, depending on the week, you will experience instances of introversion and extroversion. This is called being a human being. I understand the need to categorize ourselves, but really, we can be limited by these categories and labels. I remember thinking I was an introvert for the longest time and it actually, no kidding, made me feel less at ease in social situations where I would have normally felt at ease. I gave myself shyness because I was strictly adhering to and adopting this idea that I was a full-blown introvert. Sure, I have introvert qualities, but I also have extrovert qualities. It’s all a part of being a human!

4. Not caring what people think
You do care. I hope you care. Yes, you don’t have to be a people pleaser, but damn, if we had more kind and thoughtful people in this world that actually cared how they came across to others, maybe we’d be better off? This whole –don’t care what anyone has to say– movement is a buzzkill and a bummer. Care! Care a lot about people and things and causes and how you are perceived to others! Care that people think you’re kind and compassionate and empathetic and thoughtful. This is not uncool. Being too cool to care is criminally uncool (and also totally douchey).

5. Being unable to talk on the phone
Look, this whole texting shit needs to slow its role. It’s still really great to be able to talk on the phone. Remember your voice? Remember how it feels to connect with someone for real? This aversion to phone conversations is lame, guys. We’re lame. We can’t SPEAK TO A HUMAN ON THE PHONE? REALLY? Come on.

6. Being way too snarky for our own good
Take a look on our social media profiles and you’ll see that we think complaining and being snarky and bitching is very cool. Look, I can get my snark on like the rest of you. I get it. Sometimes you’re being super understanding and non-judgmental, but then someone does something that really just compromises all your beliefs and hopes for humans, but I think we need to just be mindful of this. We need to chill the fuck out on using social media (or friend hang outs) as a means to just bitch, bitch, bitch about all the stuff that’s going on that is not going in the way we want it to. It’s poison to keep multiplying the bullshit by airing it out over and over. At the very least, counteract all the snark by sharing something good, by sharing your successes, by lifting others and yourself up once in a while.

7. Finding a job you love
I get it, I’ve had soul-sucking jobs where the only saving grace was the fact that I could gchat with other people who have soul-sucking jobs. But, look, those jobs are the backbone of my career now. I can handle anything after that kind of bullshit. You’re not going to know what you love until you try things out. Do you know how many times I predicted I would love a job only to find out it royally sucked? Trying to find the be all, end all, in your 20s is like trying to predict the future. We don’t know what the hell is going to happen to us and believe me, lots of times the thing you think you’ll love turns out to be the worst thing ever, but sometimes you gotta go through that to get to the greatness. That’s just life and it’s annoying and beautiful at the same time.

8. Trying to be happy all the time
I can’t remember anything from the times I was happy. I never learned anything. I just stayed in the same place and softly worried about being unhappy in the future. You know what I remember the most? When this guy I loved so much and I made out and had this incredible night together and then I left the next morning without saying bye and then I moved 500 miles away the following day and pretty much spent the entire summer in Los Angeles being miserable and heartbroken and feeling rejected for no reason really. I remember those three months like they just happened. Fuck happy. If my 20s had been happy the entire time, I wouldn’t be who I am now. Embrace your mess. Embrace the chaos. Stop trying to get to some happy place where you don’t grow or change or have experiences that formulate who you are. Let’s live our lives, be where we are, trust the process, and stop aggressively going after these ideas of what a perfect life looks like. You’re good. We’re good. Let’s just live now. Thought Catalog Logo Mark

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