1. Listening to Beyoncé at full-blast by yourself and enjoying a bottle of wine to yourself and oops, you drank the entire thing, oh well, your life is awesome.
2. Oh my god do they have sangria here?! let’s get sangria! a pitcher of sangria, sir!
3. I give up dating officially, I am done, no more dating ever, give me all the wine, three glasses later swiping on Tinder.
4. We are professional women and thus order a bottle of rosé for the table without looking at the price then order another bottle then look at the bill like whoaaaaa there, I’m not a sultan, I can’t afford this extravagant lifestyle.
5. How did “let’s have a glass of wine tonight” turn into us having drunk three bottles of wine between the two of us?
6. I accidentally drank an entire bottle of sauv blanc while cooking and now all I want is French fries.
7. Everything will be all right, here tell your friends everything, sit on the couch, here’s a glass of wine the size of your head, now talk/cry for 5 hours.
8. My idea of a relaxing vacation is drinking wine on the couch while watching a movie that will make me cry.
9. It’s been a long week, I need a drink at noon on Friday to get me through till closing time oops a little tipsy at work.
10. Hey is this book club or is this drink a bottle of wine each club?
11. Let’s watch a show together where the women all drink wine while we drink wine.
12. I am ready to party tonight, I am still young and still got it, gimme all the wine! Oh shit, it’s morning. When did I fall asleep last night? 10pm? Oh god, I’m so old.
13. It’s an occasion, any occasion, and that means WINE TASTING AT A WINERYYYYYYYY.
14. Is it possible to be myself in my late twenties and be in a pool without also drinking a white wine spritzer? IS IT POSSIBLE? (It’s not.)
15. Yes I’m a woman who likes to drink champagne at brunch. Yes I am the stereotypical version of myself, but mimosas are good, so whatever?