1. Time isn’t the only condition. Effort matters, too. You’re not going to get over someone if you allow yourself to daydream about them every single night and count all the reasons you miss them. You need to remember, it’s natural to do those things at first. You’re allowed to mourn the end of a relationship. You’re allowed to feel sorry for yourself for a while. But you shouldn’t keep replaying moments with them in your head on a nightly basis if it’s been years and years and years. Time is going to help your heart heal, but not on its own. It needs your help. You have to want to get over them. You have to want to let go.

2. When it comes to healing, timelines are imaginary. There’s no exact date when you should be over them. It’s not going to take exactly six months or a year. It could happen at any time, and it happens differently for everyone and every relationship. There’s no telling when you’re going to be over them. The healing process could take longer than your last heartache or it could fly by faster. Either way, one day, you’re going to wake up and realize you haven’t thought about them in a while. It will happen without you even noticing it.

3. Healing doesn’t always mean what you think it means. Sometimes moving on from someone doesn’t mean forgetting about them. It doesn’t mean you stop missing them. It simply means you grow used to life without them. It means you learn how to experience happiness without them. It means you don’t need them anymore, even though there are still times when you miss what you once had.

4. You can’t rush the process. And you can’t pretend the process doesn’t exist, either. It might seem easier to pretend you’re okay, pretend nothing has hurt you, pretend there isn’t anything wrong, but that method is going to backfire on you in the long-run. It’s better for you to be vulnerable about your feelings, to be honest about what you’re going through, to avoid lying to yourself.

5. You should never blame your heart for how it beats. You might wish you didn’t care. You might wish nothing bothered you. You might wish you were emotionless. But even though you’re in pain right now, you cannot forget how beautiful your heart really is. It’s a good thing you care about people. It’s a good thing you can see their strengths. It’s a good thing you were open enough to let love into your life — and you should stay open to love in the future.

6. You’re going to get there eventually. You might feel like you haven’t been making any progress when it comes to getting over a certain someone, but you cannot convince yourself that moving on is an impossible feat. You can get there as long as you keep putting in the effort. It might take you a while. It might be painful. But you can accomplish it. You just have to keep telling yourself you deserve happiness without them.