When You Date Someone Who Doesn't Know How To Handle Your Anxiety
PsychologyMental Health

When You Date Someone Who Doesn’t Know How To Handle Your Anxiety

When you date someone who doesn’t know how to handle your anxiety, you get into arguments over every little thing because they refuse to see the world from your side. They might be annoyed you need to hear I love you so many times in a day. They might be annoyed you’re so quiet around their friends. They might be annoyed it takes you so long to make a phone call or send a text.

When you date someone who doesn’t know how to handle your anxiety, you spend a lot of time feeling guilty. When they stay home to sit with you instead of hanging out with their friends, you feel guilty you ruined their night. When they spend hours comforting you after a panic attack, you feel guilty you’re disrupting their routine. You hate that you’re putting them through so much ‘drama’ — and they don’t help matters. They make it obvious they’re annoyed with you, that they don’t really want to deal with you.

When you date someone who doesn’t know how to handle your anxiety, you hesitate to speak your mind. You usually lie about being fine because if you told your person the truth about how you’re feeling they might accuse you of overreacting. They might roll their eyes and tell you to stop caring so much. They might make you feel even worse than you already feel.

When you date someone who doesn’t know how to handle your anxiety, you stop telling them things. You shut down out of fear of being ridiculed and judged. You keep your problems to yourself, keep your tears to yourself, and keep your thoughts to yourself. You slowly place more and more distance between the two of you because this other person can’t be trusted to treat you right.

When you date someone who doesn’t know how to handle your anxiety, you lie to them over and over again. When you’re freaking out about socializing and bail on plans at the last second, you don’t explain what you’re experiencing. You lie about coming down with the flu or getting stuck at work or forgetting about a dinner with your parents. You make ‘acceptable’ excuses so they don’t end up annoyed with you and your anxiety.

When you date someone who doesn’t know how to handle your anxiety, it makes you feel unlovable. It makes you feel like something is wrong with you. It makes you feel like you’re not worth the effort.

When you date someone who doesn’t know how to handle your anxiety, you either need to work together so they handle your anxiety with more grace in the future — or you need to leave. You don’t want to stay with someone who makes you feel guilty about your anxiety. You don’t want to stay with someone who makes you wish you were different, more chill, more ‘normal’. You should hold out for someone who loves you, and doesn’t give a damn about the fact you have anxiety. TC mark

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Holly is the author of Severe(d): A Creepy Poetry Collection. Follow Holly on Instagram or read more articles from Holly on Thought Catalog.