You’re not unlovable. You’re not unlikable. You’re not incapable of forming genuine human connections.
You might have a hard time socializing and meeting new people and feeling comfortable alone with them, but that doesn’t mean you have to stay single. It doesn’t mean you have to accept your loneliness as a constant part of your world. You can end up in a serious stable relationship, just like anybody else.
When you have anxiety, you might struggle when it comes to dating games, but you’ll get through it. You might rewrite texts ten times before hitting that send button, but that’s okay. You might turn down dates at loud, crowded public places, but that’s okay. You can find someone who understands your anxiety, someone who doesn’t mind if it takes you a half-hour to text back and that you prefer afternoon coffee shop dates to midnight bar hopping.
You don’t have to stay single just because you have anxiety. You don’t have to let your insecurities and overthinking get in the way of your love life. You can find someone who is patient, calm, and understanding. You can find someone who won’t pressure you to meet his parents too early or climb onto a stage and sing karaoke.
Your anxiety might make it more time-consuming to get ready for dates and find parking at restaurants and figure out conversation topics — but you can get through it. You can handle the pressure. Your anxiety shouldn’t stop you from looking for love. It shouldn’t convince you to accept your single status.
If you’re happy alone, there’s nothing wrong with staying single. You can live a happy, fulfilled, successful life on your own. But if you find someone worth dating, someone who you have your heart set on pursuing, don’t let your anxiety get in the way. Don’t let yourself believe you aren’t smart enough, sexy enough, suave enough for a relationship.
You might be too nervous to lean in for a first kiss, but you can still drop hints you like them. You might be too nervous to ask them on an official date, but you can still invite them out with friends. You can figure out a flirting method that works for you.
Even though your anxiety does a good job of convincing you not to bother trying, you have to remember your anxiety isn’t going to chase the right person away. It isn’t going to be a deal-breaker. It’s just going to be a part of you they accept, just like every other part of you.
If you’ve been miserable on your own and want to open up your heart to love, then stop letting your anxiety convince you no one will ever fall for you. It doesn’t matter that your cheeks get red when you talk to people. It doesn’t matter that you stutter over sentences. It doesn’t matter that you coop yourself away some nights because you’re too sick to socialize.
You can still enter a serious, stable relationship. You can still find your happily ever after.