7 Selfish Things You Need To Do Before You Find Your Forever Person

Girl ready to find her forever person
Unsplash / Frank Cordoba

1. Take some time for yourself. There is nothing wrong with being single. There is nothing wrong with hiding in your bedroom on weekends instead of bar hopping or right swiping. The longer you are alone, the more time you have to grow into the kind of person who is ready to be loved. Furthermore, the longer you are alone, the more time you will have to discover what kind of person you want to spend your quiet moments with.

2. Make bad decisions. Date the wrong people. Spend a little too much money on those boots or that dress you’ve been dying to wear. Get wasted with your best friends and post about it on Snapchat. Enjoy your youth — even if you are going to regret it in the morning — so that you can get the wild out of your system by the time you find someone you want to settle down with.

3. Follow your passion. Apply for your dream job. Risk getting rejected. Put your heart on the line. You don’t want to end up resenting your person when you’re old and gray because you chose to live happily ever after with them instead of chasing after your dreams. You don’t want to end up blaming them for why you never accomplished anything worthwhile. You can have a career and a love life. You don’t have to choose between them. You can choose both.

4. Learn the right way to touch yourself. Your forever person isn’t going to know how to get you off in the darkness of your bedroom unless you teach them. So you might as well start learning now. Buy a vibrator. Lock yourself in your room. Figure out where you like to be touched and how to give yourself the strongest orgasm possible. You can’t expect anyone else to make you moan unless you can do it yourself first.

5. Cut toxic people out of your life. Say goodbye to the people who have harmed you. If you still associate with the person who is the reason behind your trust issues or abandonment issues, then cut them out of your life. Make them a part of your past so that you are emotionally and physically ready for an adult relationship. So that their mistakes will not follow you into the future.

6. Make the selfish decision. Move across the country, even if that means leaving your friends behind. Quit your high-paying job, even if that means living on minimum wage. Make those life-changing decisions that will make you happier right now, because once you find your forever person, you’re going to have to take their thoughts into consideration.

7. Raise your standards. Keep your expectations high. Promise yourself that you will not settle for anything less than you deserve. Walk away from anyone who talks down to you or treats you with disrespect. Make sure that you only surround yourself with people who have earned your attention. Make sure that you never mistake a fuckboy for your forever person. Make sure your standards stay high so that you end up with the person you are meant to be with instead of an imposter. TC mark

The truth is that you can be struggling and still be loved.

You don’t have to solve your whole life tonight. You just have to show up and try. Focus on the most immediate thing in front of you. You’ll figure out the rest along the way.

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