Thought Catalog

If You Don’t Feel Any Sparks, Then You Should Stay Single

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Girl who wants to stay single
Unsplash / Dawid Sobolewski

If the sight of their name on your phone screen doesn’t make you break into a grin, then you should stay single. If locking eyes with them from across the room doesn’t bring butterflies swarming through your stomach, then you should stay single. If pressing your lips against them doesn’t make you feel like you’re exactly where you’re meant to be, then you should stay single.

Don’t date someone who bores you. Don’t date someone who mismatches you. Don’t date someone just because you are sick of being single.

Only date someone who makes you feel alive. Someone who makes you excited to get out of bed in the morning, excited to drive through traffic for an hour to visit them, excited to go grocery shopping hand-in-hand. Someone who makes you look forward to the little, mundane things that you usually wouldn’t think twice about.

Date someone who you are attracted to physically and emotionally. Someone you could kiss for hours or talk to for hours.

Date someone who makes you stop feeling numb. Someone who makes you happy when they show up unexpectedly on your front stoop because you want to spend as much time together as possible. Someone who makes you upset when they are upset because you hate seeing them that way. Someone who makes you angry when they forget to wear a seatbelt or refuse to visit a doctor because you would be devastated if anything happened to them.

Date someone who makes you feel every emotion under the sun — but mostly the good ones. The ones that make you forget about your exes. The ones that make you excited for your future. The ones that make you think you could spend a lifetime together without ever growing bored.

Date someone who you care about as much as you care about yourself. Someone who you feel connected to in more than a physical way. Someone you cannot imagine living without because you make so much sense together.

However, if you count down the minutes until you can leave their house instead of counting down the hours until you see them again, then stay single.

If you are relieved when they cancel plans with you at the last second instead of disappointed, then you should stay single.

If you think about how you would rather be hanging out with your friends or sleeping in your own bed whenever you hang out with them, then you should stay single.

If you feel nothing at all when they touch you, hug you, or kiss you, then you should stay single.

If you like the version of them you daydream about in your head more than the real, flesh and blood person standing right in front of you, then you should stay single.

If you don’t feel any sparks, then you should stay single, because relationships are meant to excite you. They are meant to enhance your days. You are meant to be even happier with them than you were without them. TC mark

Essential Poetry for Women Who Give No Fucks

This is for the women who are first to get naked, howl at the moon and jump into the sea. This is for the women who seek relentless joy; the ones who know how to laugh with their whole souls. The women who speak to strangers because they have no fear in their hearts. This is for the women who drink coffee at midnight and wine in the morning, and dare you to question it. This is for the women who throw down what they love, and don’t waste time following society’s pressures to exist behind a white picket fence. The women who create wildly, unbalanced, ferociously and in a blur at times. This — is for you.

“When Janne has a new poem written, I shut my life down to do nothing but read it, and then when I turn my life back on, everything is better.”
James Altucher

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Poetry Lovers! 💖

Love a soft person. The ones who are positive, even in the worst of circumstances. Someone whose strength is not in bravado, but in their quiet. Someone who is strong for others because that is what is needed in that moment. Someone who is the moon that soothes instead of the sun that burns. Someone who sees the very best in people even when you think they aren’t worth it. The kind of person who always wants to do the best for those they love.

“I bought this on a whim to read as I was resting for the night, and I do not regret it one bit! Everything about the poetry in this book is amazing, heart breaking, and soul searching. It will lift your spirits on your darkest days. I want to thank the author so much for writing this, as it’s something I will be rereading a lot! Always remember, everything about you is important. You matter.” —McKayla

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