You should like every piece of the person you are dating. You should like them when they are happy, sad, drunk, horny, lonely, pissed, tired, hungry. You should like them at their best and again at their worst.
You shouldn’t have to put a disclaimer at the ends of your sentences. He treats me like a princess — unless he’s drinking. He would never hurt me — but he does get scary when he’s angry. He is everything I’ve ever wanted — except he can be a real asshole sometimes.
Your person should treat you well all the time. Not only if he’s in a good mood. Not only if he wants something from you. Not only if work went well. Not only if you stay out of his way, stay in your lane, and avoid pissing him off.
If you have to erase certain memories from your head because that’s not the real him, he didn’t mean to do that, he isn’t like that at all normally then you are kidding yourself. You are pretending that an ugly side of him doesn’t exist because it’s easier than admitting the person you’re dating is less than perfect.
Yes, he might have made a mistake. He might have changed over time. He might be different now.
But you cannot erase their past because you don’t like the way it sounds. It existed. It happened. It was reality.
You shouldn’t fool yourself into believing the person you are dating now is a different person than the one who treated you like shit years earlier when he didn’t feel like making a commitment yet.
You shouldn’t fool yourself into believing the person cooking breakfast for you in the morning is a different person than the one who left bruises across your arms when he was drunk the night before.
You shouldn’t fool yourself into thinking that the person who is standing in front of you today, promising you the world, is a different person than the one who cheated on you the week earlier.
It might be hard to look at him with any anger when he’s in a good mood again, when he’s calling you baby again, when he’s saying sorry again, when he’s the person that you signed up for dating again.
But whether or not you want to admit yourself, he is still the same person who hurt you. He is the same person who snapped your heart in half. He is the same person who made you feel like you were worthless once upon a time.
He might have changed since then — or he might have stayed the same.
Either way, if you’re going to spend the rest of your life with someone, you should like every side of them. Not just the pretty parts. Not just the parts you rush to post on Instagram. Not just the parts you mention to your friends during brunch.
You should accept every side of them. You should accept who they were yesterday and who they could become tomorrow.