Why Girls In Almost Relationships Want Actual Labels Instead

Girl in an almost relationship
Unsplash / Jiří Wagner

Almost relationships start out as fun. The flirtatious glances. The late night texts. The handholding and hugs and forehead kisses. At first, it gives you a kick of adrenaline. At first, it feels exciting.

But when you’re in an almost relationship for too long, it feels like you’re trapped in purgatory. Like you should be moving forward, but are stuck in the same place.

Instead of meeting his parents, you keep hearing stories about them without ever being invited over for dinner. Instead of going out to eat at a nice restaurant, you always hang out inside of his bedroom where no one else can find you. Instead of having an actual label slapped onto your relationship, it stays undefined.

As much as you love your current situation, as much as you love hanging out with him and hinting at how much you like each other, you want something more from the future. You want an official relationship soon.

You want a label, because as long as you’re both technically single, he has no obligation to stay loyal to you. He has the freedom to flirt with any other girl that he wants — and even sleep with her — without feeling guilty over it.

Without a label, he won’t look like an asshole for hurting you. If anything, you are the one who looks bad, because you assumed that the relationship meant more than it actually did. Because you expected him to stick with you when he never promised you that.

Without a label, you aren’t the poor girl who is getting neglected by her boyfriend. You are the girl who cares too much. The girl who is trying too hard. The girl who is obsessed with a boy who doesn’t even belong to her.

You want a label so badly, because without one, it feels like you’re being led on. Like you’re being played. Like he’s going to walk away sometime soon instead of turning you into his girlfriend like you originally thought he was going to do.

You want an actual label so that you know for sure how he feels. So you know that everything that has happened between the two of you meant as much to him as it meant to you. So you know that you aren’t crazy and aren’t reading into signs that don’t exist.

It’s not that you need to rush into a relationship. You are okay with taking things slow. You just want to know that all of the time and effort you’re putting into him is going to lead somewhere.

After all, without an official label, there’s no telling what you mean to him. He can keep swearing that you’re the only girl that he talks to, but how can you trust that if he refuses to date you? If he is doing everything he can to dodge serious relationship talks and stay single?

If he really liked you, then he wouldn’t hesitate to date you. He wouldn’t take this long to turn your almost relationship into a real one. TC mark

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