When your ex texts you, you’re confused. You have no idea what he wants from you, why he would decide to contact you out of the blue after ignoring you for so long.

You reread the message he wrote over and over again, hoping that you’ll eventually be able to understand it. That if you look at it for long enough, it will start making sense.

It doesn’t matter if he sent a drunk I miss you text, a sorry text that explains why he did he they did, or a simple, one-word hey. Either way, you try to analyze the message. You try to look at the situation from his point of view to figure out what the hell he is trying to gain from talking to you again.

Does he want to get back together? Does he want a one-night stand? Does he just want to mess with you?

You have no idea, so you search through his social media. You look for clues in his photos and status updates. Is he recently single again? Is he depressed? Is there an obvious reason why he would be reaching out to you?

When you still can’t figure it out, instead of texting him back, you text your friends. You send them screenshots of what he said. You laugh about how ridiculous it is that he thinks it’s okay to contact you after what happened. You agree when your friends tell you that you deserve better, that you don’t need someone like him, even though you’re secretly tempted to respond to him.

When your ex texts you, all of the progress you made since the breakup disappears. You were doing so well without him. You stopped thinking about him a while ago. You thought you were completely over him. You thought you were fine.

But now that you know he’s been thinking about you, that maybe he regrets what happened and wants a fresh start, you know you won’t be able to get him out of your head anytime soon. You know you’re going to be back at square one. You’re going to have to erase him from your mind all over again.

When your ex texts you, the memories you’ve been working hard to repress pour over you like ice water. You remember the inside jokes you shared and the flirtatious banter that went back and forth. You remember the way his lips tasted, how soft his skin felt against yours. You remember how happy you were whenever you were with him.

When your ex texts you, you consider all of your possibilities. What would happen if you ignored him, blocked him. What would happen if you cursed him out, told him to leave you alone. What would happen if you played nice, texted back, let history repeat itself.

When your ex texts you, you have to be strong. You have to remember what you’re worth. You have to remember that you deserve better than someone who has hurt you before.

You have to realize that texting him back will either lead to the best thing that’s ever happened to you — or the worst.