Stop Putting This Much Effort Into A One-Sided Love

Girl putting in effort
Unsplash / Melissa Mjoen

Stop texting him first every single time. Stop trying to resurrect conversations after he lets them die. Stop accepting his one-word answers and two-day late replies.

Stop casually having sex with him when you both know you’re looking for something serious. Stop going down on him when he refuses to do the same for you. Stop letting him get away with using you as an object.

Stop lying about how much you like his favorite bands. Stop watching his favorite shows, just so you have something to talk about with him. Stop trying to be someone you’re not in order to earn a sliver of his attention.

Stop sending him good morning texts when you know he won’t respond. Stop inviting him out when you know he’s going to cancel two minutes before you’re supposed to meet him. Stop giving him more chances than he deserves.

Stop dressing up every time you expect to run into him. Stop uploading pictures to Instagram and repeatedly refreshing the page to see if he liked it yet. Stop trying your hardest to impress him when he obviously doesn’t care about what you think of him.

Stop pretending that you believe him when he gives a bullshit excuse about why he’s been MIA. Stop acting like you didn’t notice him flirt with the waitress or that close female friend. Stop dropping your standards so that you have a chance with him.

Stop rewriting texts twenty times before sending, because he’s only going to glance at the words anyway. Stop replaying old conversations in your head, because he isn’t even going to remember them an hour later. Stop giving him every little piece of you, because he does not care about you the way you wish he would.

Stop being the girl who puts in too much effort, because you’re wasting your time. At least, right now you are.

However, once you find the right person for you, you should put in as much effort as you can. You should set aside time for him and plan romantic dates. You should remember his favorite candies and surprise him with them. You should text him good morning, good night, and everything in between.

You should work your hardest to keep the relationship healthy and to keep him smiling wide — but that’s only because he will be doing the exact same thing for you. He will be putting in just as much effort as you are.

But right now, that isn’t happening. Your love is one-sided. Your attention is being abused.

This boy doesn’t deserve your effort. He doesn’t appreciate your effort. He is taking every word you say to him for granted. It wouldn’t matter to him whether you stay or leave. Whether you text him first or never text again.

Stop being the girl who puts too much effort into a one-sided relationship, because it’s draining you. Because it’s unfair to you. Because you don’t have to put yourself through this hell.

Because you deserve so much more than this. Thought Catalog Logo Mark

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