11 Ways You Are Ruining Your Chances Of Dating Him Without Realizing You Are

Girl thinking about the boy she wants to date
Unsplash / Guillaume Bolduc


You constantly call him buddy or pal or bro. You never make physical contact with him. You keep inviting him to hang out with groups instead of one-on-one. You make him feel like a friend. Not a boyfriend.


You act like you aren’t looking for anything serious — even though that’s a big, fat lie and you’re only saying it to appear cool. But if he thinks you’re only looking for something casual, why would he take a risk and ask you out?


You lead him to believe that a relationship isn’t on your radar. You keep telling him about how you don’t really believe in love and how you spend so much time on Tinder and how you are happier living the single life. You are giving him all the wrong signals.


You give him zero indication that you’re interested, because you don’t actually flirt. When he leans in close, you pull away. When he makes a flirtatious comment, you switch topics. You let fear get the best of you and, to him, it looks like he’s getting shut down.


You put down all of the other girls that he talks about. He might be flattered that you’re jealous at first — but if you take it a step too far and start saying unspeakable things about her body and her personality, you’re just going to seem catty. It’s not a good look.


You try too hard to make him jealous. You keep mentioning how attractive other guys are or talk about how you had fun with strangers at the bar. Instead of making him more interested, your tactics might backfire and make him think he doesn’t have a chance. That means he won’t be asking you out anytime soon.


You turn the conversation sexual every chance you get. Even though there’s nothing wrong with telling him how hot he looked or sending nudes, if you want to date him, you should talk to him about other things, too. Your family. Your friends. Your career. Otherwise, he’ll assume that you only want him for sex.


You spend forever trying to come up with the perfect reply to his text when you should just be yourself. Say what first pops into your head. Act natural. Don’t say what you think he wants to hear, because you’ll probably end up guessing wrong.


You keep turning down his invitations out. Even if you really are too busy to see him this weekend or too tired to go out with him tonight, you should try to find a time when you can see him. Otherwise, he’s going to assume your excuses are bullshit. That you just don’t want to hang out with him.


You wait hours to text him back. You never have quick, flirtatious, back-and-forth conversations because the time between the messages is too long. It breaks the spell of sexual tension.


You think too little of yourself. You tell yourself that there is no point in pursuing him. That he would never want to be with you anyway. You are trying so hard to avoid getting your heart broken by him that you never even realized that you’re breaking your own heart. Thought Catalog Logo Mark

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