My Whole World Would Be Different If I Wasn’t So Insecure

Insecure girl
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If I wasn’t so insecure, I wouldn’t overanalyze silly little things, like if someone took too long to text me back or said they were too busy to see me. I would let it roll off of my back instead of wondering if I did something wrong, if I should have tried harder, if they secretly hate me.

If I wasn’t so insecure, it wouldn’t take three shots of vodka to make me feel attractive. I wouldn’t have to be tipsy to start a conversation with someone. I wouldn’t have to hold a beer in my hand in order to get through a social event.

If I wasn’t so insecure, I wouldn’t spend as much time in front of the mirror. I wouldn’t mind leaving the house without doing my hair and makeup beforehand. I wouldn’t glance in every reflective surface I walked passed and check myself in my phone camera to make sure that I still looked decent later on in the day.

If I wasn’t so insecure, I would post more photographs. Instead of taking twenty selfies and only saving the one that looks best, I would take one and be done with it. And I wouldn’t complain to my friends when they tagged me in a photo with messy hair and baggy eyes, because I would care more about the memory than the way I happened to look.

If I wasn’t so insecure, I would pay less attention to the likes I got and the compliments I received. I wouldn’t need someone else’s approval on my outfit or my new hair color in order to feel good about it. I wouldn’t give a damn about anyone else’s opinion.

If I wasn’t so insecure, I wouldn’t get jealous of all of the women who are prettier than me. Women with abs who know how to contour and how to keep their skin clear. Women I wish I was more like.

If I wasn’t so insecure, I wouldn’t have as many trust issues. I wouldn’t hesitate before jumping into relationships like I do now because I can’t understand how anyone could possibly like me. I wouldn’t always assume people were using me. That they were eventually going to leave me for someone better.

If I wasn’t so insecure, I wouldn’t hold myself back from following my heart. I would put myself out there. I would take more risks. I would walk up to the cute guy at the bar or ask the coworker I have a friend-crush on to get drinks. I would actually be social.

If I wasn’t so insecure, I wouldn’t cry in front of mirrors and inside of changing rooms. I wouldn’t think about how maybe I should consider plastic surgery or at least get my hair dyed again. I wouldn’t want to change every single thing about myself.

If I wasn’t so insecure, I would be happier. I would actually be able to enjoy my life instead of stressing over petty things. I would actually be able to say that I love myself. TC mark

The truth is that you can be struggling and still be loved.

You don’t have to solve your whole life tonight. You just have to show up and try. Focus on the most immediate thing in front of you. You’ll figure out the rest along the way.

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