You have to consider her family your family. You have to treat them as well as you treat her. You have to get used to having them as a permanent part of your life.
Because when you date a girl who is close to her family, you have to realize that her blood relatives are also her best friends. You have to understand that they matter to her more than anyone else and you could never come between them. They have a lifelong bond that could never be severed.
When you date a girl who is close to her family, you have to be okay with seeing them all the time. You have to be okay with abandoning your weekend plans to pick her aunt up from the airport or to attend a barbecue. You have to agree to take her parents out to dinner and hit the bars with her cousins.
When you date a girl who is close to her family, you have to hear the same stories a million times. You have to listen close as she flips through photographs and explains who each person is. You have to actually care about her history, because it matters so much to her.
When you date a girl who is close to her family, there are unspoken rules. You can’t get sloppy drunk in front of her grandparents. You can’t fight with her in front of an audience. You can’t expect her to pick between you and anyone from her childhood.
And you’re not allowed to say anything bad about her family members. It doesn’t matter if she spends an hour complaining about one of them. If you join in and mention how they’re being immature, then she’s going to turn on you — because no one is allowed to hate on her family. Only her.
When you date a girl who is close to her family, you might have to make sacrifices. You might have to fly back to her hometown during every major holiday. And if for some reason you can’t make it there, you have to honor the traditions she grew up following — because they remind her of her family, because they make her feel close to them even when they’re actually far away.
When you date a girl who is close to her family, you have to expect occasional interrogations. It’s not that her relatives don’t like you. They just want what is best for her. They think she deserves someone who spoils her rotten. If they get the idea that you’re going to hurt her, then they won’t want you around anymore.
But if you treat her right and make it clear you’re in it for the long haul, they’ll love you. They’ll notice the way you talk to her, the way you look at her, the way you kiss her — and they’ll start to consider you family too. They’ll be happy to let you into their circle. They’ll be proud to say you’re one of them.
When you date a girl who is close to her family, you’re dating a girl with a huge heart. Someone with so much love to give. Someone you would be lucky to love forever. 
Holly Riordan is the author of Lifeless Souls, available here.
