INTJ: Posts their newest life epiphany every 3-5 days and allows very few photos of themselves on their page just in case that Facebook conspiracy they read about is true.
ENTJ: Checks into a lot of networking events and is wearing a suit in every tagged picture they have.
ISTJ: Re-posts a lot of sarcastic Internet pictures that capture their frustration with general mankind without them having to say it outright.
ESTP: Gets tagged in a lot of drunk unicycling photos that gives their relatives anxiety.
ISTP: Invites you to play Candy Crush Saga several times a day despite the fact that you haven’t seen them IRL for years.
ESFJ: Gets married at 22 and posts nothing but wedding pictures for five years until they have a child – then posts nothing but baby pictures.
ESTJ: Profile picture is a professional headshot – just in case potential employers are looking.
ISFJ: Dutifully ‘likes’ any status you post that stays up for ten minutes or more without any interactions because they have your back.
ESFP: Got a job as a party rep straight out of college and now sends you an endless stream of event invites along the lines of, “Killersnake DJ Spinoff at 11th Street Lot – VIP access only, ladies free before 12.”
ISFP: Takes more selfies per day than you’ve ever taken in your life.
INFP: Alternates between posting happy photos of them with their friends and getting into vehement arguments about human rights issues with their conservative uncle.
ENFP: Enthusiastically changes their relationship status/location/career path every 2-3 months and somehow gleans hundreds of likes from it every time.
ENFJ: Posts a lot of statuses along the lines of “Ugh so done with this,” in hopes you’ll ask them what they’re so done with.
ENTP: Argues with the INFP’s humanitarian posts, just for the hell of it.
INFJ: Exclusively posts Gandhi quotes.
INTP: Hasn’t posted anything in years – but you suspect that they are always watching.