17. Body Language Sometimes Works, Sometimes

I am a married woman now, but I think it’s a good sign if a girl is: making a lot of eye contact, turning her body toward him when he is talking, stopping what she is doing while he is talking. She might fiddle with her hair a lot (run a hand through it repeatedly, etc.). Maybe she makes cute little mistakes. One time, my now-husband stood next to me at a meeting at work. I think he could have asked me what two plus two equals, and I would have just said “Um…”.

If she doesn’t mind checking her phone or excessively digging through her purse while he is talking, she probably doesn’t want to be more than friends.

18. But Vague Flirting Is Like A Magical Incantation

I exhale upon them. I breathe in, and breathe out, and the vapours I exude contain the breath of honey-suckle upon them, and this snares the man, and this seeks the man, and the man comes with it.

There is very little that can be done in the circumstance that this does not appellate, and it is a venture of vexation, but then we do what needs must, don’t we? For procreation and suchlike. And I do like procreation.

19. Of Course There’s A Few Things All Guys Notice

I usually bring up various places I like go, usually places to eat. It makes it easy for them to say “hey want to go to [insert said location]?”

Other than that I let my breasts do the talking.

20. But ‘Deer In The Headlights’ Isn’t A Good Strategy

I just hope frantically and try not to give away my interest. So far I’m 0 for 0 on guys asking me out.

21. However, Beer And Kissing Can’t Be Misunderstood

The last time I wanted to subtly drop hints, I thought screw that for a game of soldiers, and just asked him to the pub. Then I plied him with beer and witty repartee before leaning over and kissing him. I think he got the message.

Honestly, I’ve come to the conclusion that life is too short to wait around for Mr Right to grow some cojones and ask you out. If you’re both single and you know he’s emotionally available, just go for it. Worst that will happen is a rejection, which sucks, sure, but at least then you know and can stop pining like a teenager.